Life is a zoo in a jungle.
Peter De Vries
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Happy Sunday.
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Years ago some friends and I went to a zoo in a large city. After wandering around we got to the primate area. There was a large field with baboons chasing each other around and a building next to it. When we entered the building we were in the gorilla section. There were several glassed in areas. One of them was a small area with rocky walls and ledges. Sitting on the ledge near the window was a young male gorilla watching the people go by. There was a bench nearby, so I sat down.
Within a few seconds that youngster and I were staring at each other. He reached up and brushed his shoulder once. I did the same. Every time he made a gesture I copied him. He seemed interested in that. I held up my hand in the gesture of a greeting. He watched me but didn't do anything. I did it again. After the third time he copied me.
Soon we were making gestures at each other. I always imitated him, which seemed to amuse him. Some of my gestures he imitated, some he didn't. There was a man's voice behind me with a scornful tone that said "Ha. Monkey see, monkey do."
"Ape" I said.
"What?"
"Ape, not monkey."
"Oh, really" the scorn went on. "And what's the difference?"
"Monkeys have tails" I said.
He walked away.
The imitation game went on for a while, back and forth, until the mother gorilla came out to get him. She lifted him up gently. He climbed up onto her shoulder and as they disappeared behind the rocks he looked back at me.
I didn't see that young one again, but I wonder just how much real communication there was between us. There certainly seemed to be thinking going on.
Considering that he was probably born there, under the supervision of the zoo's veterinarian, that he was fed and cared for by the custodians, that he had other young gorillas to frolic with and the adults as companions and that when he wanted some entertainment he could sit on the rocks and watch the silly humans walk by and gawk at him, my final question is: Which one of us is living the more civilized life?
DB - Vagabond Journey
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May the good shine through.
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Check out the Spring Quiz below.
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Right Response 12/28/08
Love and trust in the space between what's said and what's heard in our life can make all the difference in the world.
Fred Rogers
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When I was studying my craft I had to take up the issue of speech and found it much more complicated than I at first thought.
Writing is tricky because the writer has to carefully choose the right words so as not to be misunderstood.
As an actor I was responsible for speaking the playwright's carefully chosen words.
But in conversation we choose our own words, and we have to do it so that we are not misunderstood. Every word exists in time and has certain qualities of which we are usually not aware. It's a sound that has an attack, a timbre, a duration, a stress, a finish and a relationship to the words around it. Those are a set of dynamics that apply to every spoken word and they will determine what the word conveys and how it will be interpreted. Think of how many different ways you can say "I want to go with you."
Then there's a statement made up of words. That goes through at least 5 stages: intention, invention, articulation, reception, interpretation. And all of that takes place, at lightning speed, before the person you're talking to responds, In other words, you have a thought, you decide how you're going to express that thought, you speak it, a person hears it and then interprets what you said according to their own mental and emotional state. That sounds like a very complicated procedure just to say "Good morning" and it is. But in most conversation it all takes place automatically and unconsciously. It's when we have something we feel is important to say like "I want to go with you." that we become more aware of the process. Or at least we should.
Think how much trouble, perhaps even wars, might have been prevented if someone had been more careful about how he said something, or, as Fred Rogers suggests, someone would have been willing to interpret what was said to him in a kindlier manner.
DB Vagabond Journeys
Fred Rogers
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When I was studying my craft I had to take up the issue of speech and found it much more complicated than I at first thought.
Writing is tricky because the writer has to carefully choose the right words so as not to be misunderstood.
As an actor I was responsible for speaking the playwright's carefully chosen words.
But in conversation we choose our own words, and we have to do it so that we are not misunderstood. Every word exists in time and has certain qualities of which we are usually not aware. It's a sound that has an attack, a timbre, a duration, a stress, a finish and a relationship to the words around it. Those are a set of dynamics that apply to every spoken word and they will determine what the word conveys and how it will be interpreted. Think of how many different ways you can say "I want to go with you."
Then there's a statement made up of words. That goes through at least 5 stages: intention, invention, articulation, reception, interpretation. And all of that takes place, at lightning speed, before the person you're talking to responds, In other words, you have a thought, you decide how you're going to express that thought, you speak it, a person hears it and then interprets what you said according to their own mental and emotional state. That sounds like a very complicated procedure just to say "Good morning" and it is. But in most conversation it all takes place automatically and unconsciously. It's when we have something we feel is important to say like "I want to go with you." that we become more aware of the process. Or at least we should.
Think how much trouble, perhaps even wars, might have been prevented if someone had been more careful about how he said something, or, as Fred Rogers suggests, someone would have been willing to interpret what was said to him in a kindlier manner.
DB Vagabond Journeys
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