Take Your Time

Judge not your brother.
Walk a mile in his shoes.
You'll see he's doin' the best that he can do.
Like me and you.

Eric Bibb
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Hello Lily
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I confess that in my younger years I had little patience with older folks. I thought they were slow, ignorant, muddle headed and altogether a drain on society. I was a member of the never-trust-anyone-over-30 generation. By the time I was 31 I had realized the foolishness of that prejudice. I had simply ignored the fact that older people had lived longer than I and undoubtedly had lessons and life experiences I knew nothing about.

My education into the world of older folks began to grow as I worked with actors who were older and more experienced not only about acting but about life, love, success and happiness. When I heard about struggles, lost opportunities and lost loves I realized there were scars from wounds I never had and might not have if I was lucky and paid attention.

I'm grateful to say I didn't have to reach the age of 31 before I began to see the real gold in those who had lived twice as long or longer than I had. The old geezer sitting on a park bench feeding the pigeons, or walking haltingly down the street with a newspaper stuck under his arm, or the old lady on the bus with leggings tucked under her skirt, or being pushed in her wheelchair, may be the owners of amazing stories of adventure and survival.

I met such a woman one day. She had a story to tell. Her husband would push her around in her wheelchair every afternoon in good weather. I saw them frequently. One day I stopped to talk and found out that years ago she entered a contest for a new bread recipe. She won it, they gave her a chuck of money and named the bread after her. It can still be found on some supermarket shelves.

One day I was in a supermarket line and in front of me was a very old woman. When she reached the check out with her few purchases she fumbled in her purse for her money. The man behind me grumbled and told her to hurry up. I turned and said to him "She's an old lady, she's lived a long life and she has a right to dodder if she wants to." Then I said to her "You take your time sweetheart." She looked up at me with a big smile and said "Thank you sir."

Now that I have achieved senior citizenship (or, old manhood, if you must) there are those around me who think I'm a doddering old fool. I live alone, walk slowly, don't use dope or listen to rap. What good am I? But beware, if I'm at the check out and you tell me to hurry up you might get an earful you'll regret

DB - The Vagabond
Never give up.
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Open The Door

Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.

George Washington
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Hello Linda
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One of the things I regret the most from my youth was having to make unfair and unnecessary adaptations in my speech and attitudes in order to accommodate the people around me. If I expressed my own opinion about something it was usually belittled, ridiculed and criticized. Furthermore, it was generally agreed upon by everyone that until a person reached the age of 21 he was completely incapable of thinking for himself. So that when I did make a statement I heard a scornful "Oh, is that so." or "Where did you hear that?" or other such comments. People thought they were correcting me when all they were doing was disagreeing with me.

In order to protect myself from this moral misdemeanor I learned, early on to not only keep my mouth shut but to act like I agreed with everyone. I got so good at it that I actually convinced myself I believed in certain things that weren't true. I didn't realize then what a betrayal of myself I was causing.

I began to believe that certain behavior was correct because the group of people I was with behaved that way. I developed prejudices and biases that were based on nothing. I formed attitudes about things that conformed to those around me. I did whatever I needed to so that I would be approved of and not criticized and harshly judged by others. In short I gave myself away.

I did make friends, real ones. And at first I was puzzled by why they approved of things that I had convinced myself were wrong. But slowly my horizon began to change. I was actually opening up some closed doors in my own thinking and to accept ideas that had been hidden behind those doors gathering dust. I started to ask myself what I really thought about something and to reason it out rather than to fall back on a safe and previous attitude. My words became better and less judgmental and my behavior improved. I was discovering my conscience.

I felt vigorous about leaving the unreasonable behind and standing on better moral ground. Rather than to conform, I became a vagabond. Rather than to satisfy the normality, I became an artist. And rather than agree with the inane I found a sense of humor.

Such a thing doesn't happen overnight. It takes a life.

The Vagabond
May you always have enough hay for your horse and wood for your stove.
And never give up.
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SUMMER QUESTION

The end of Summer is fast approaching, people. 5 days left.

It's a long, hot, wet, sticky summer, so here's a hot, sticky question for you.

Same sex marriage. Should it be legal or not? If so, why? If not, why not?

dbdacoba@aol.com

21 interesting answers so far.

You have until the last day of summer, but don't dally.
I eagerly await your answer.

DB
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Fertilized Freedom 5/02/09

Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.

Malcolm Forbes
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Good day to you.
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One of the strangest and most dangerous human aberrations is the inability to listen to an idea outside of one's prejudice without becoming enraged. Unfortunately we have seen a lot of that lately on the public political scene. I have also seen it in my private life.

When I was in high school we were told which textbooks to buy for the various classes, as was normal. Being a good student I carefully studied those books, on government, history and literature, believing I was reading a legitimate, unbiased account of those topics. As a grew up, got out into the world and heard and read other points of view, my mind broadened to accept the possibility of different ideas. Decades went by and one day I came across some of those high school texts that had somehow ended up in my sister's library. I read through them again and was stunned to find how one sided much of the writing was and how viciously the authors attacked the ideas they didn't agree with, some of which I had come to accept. The editorial content of the textbooks simply expressed the prejudices of my teachers. I went back further to consider what I had carried over from my sub-standard elementary school, remembering the scornful remarks of some of those teachers about certain ideas. It seems that my education was narrow minded, not open minded. My thinking had been closed up in a box, and I didn't know it. Fortunately I survived it, I hope. Some don't.

For over a year I have been making daily observations in this journal about ideas, events and human life. If I express my own opinion, I say so. Last year a friend of mine, an actor who I had worked with a few times and who I thought was a good guy, asked if he could be included on my list of those who receive my daily dollops of delight. So I did. But immediately he began responding to them in a very rude and scornful manner. He simply did not want to read anything that didn't conform to his vew of the world nor what he was convinced was the only truth. He finally said "Don't send me this crap." So I stopped.

The purpose of my journal has been all along to allow myself and others to think about things, to ponder and consider with an open, active mind the ideas that come across my desk. My motive has been out of respect and appreciation for the infinite and fascinating complexities of the universe of human thought. The reason for reading anything written by a thinking person (and I humbly consider myself one of those) is to provide nourishment for the heart, mind and soul. To disagree is healthy provided it comes from careful thinking and articulated with respect. But to a priori slam the door in the face of an opposing idea no matter how clear and thoughtful it is makes one a dangerous fool, in my opinion.

DB The Vagabond
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Suddenly it's June. Imagine that.
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