All those hours of our lives are our own. We have to figure out what to do with them, but having our feet on the ground is a good beginning.
Natalie Goldberg
********************
I wish I was a sample man. I wish I had a simple life. I sometimes wish I had never seen the backstage of a theatre, the inside of a radio studio, or the handle of a drum stick. I wish I didn't know about ontology, cosmology, semantics, ethics, metaphysics, sociology, politics, history and religion. I wish I didn't know about Bach, Mozart, Wagner and Schoenberg. I'm often tempted to discard all my books and magazines and never buy another one.
I wish I had lived a simple life with a steady job doing something mechanical or educational; a grammar school Phys Ed teacher. I like kids, That would have been a good one.
I would have liked to have a simple home with a wife who liked to smile and keep her house and her garden, while I fixed things up around it. I would be happy with simple food: franks and beans, burgers and potato salad, pea soup, Once a week I would take her out to dinner: Chinese, Italian, steaks and chops.
In the evening we would watch a movie or two. I would get my news from the TV and not think much about it. I would enjoy a good ball game and have a favorite team. Once a year we would take a vacation and go to the shore or to Disneyland.
And if I wanted to be creative I'd paint pictures of flowers from her garden and not worry if they were any good or not.
I would enjoy a good joke and share it with my buddies over checkers, while she was with her ladies sewing circle talking about whatever ladies talk about.
I would be reasonably healthy, well fed and sleep the sleep of a grateful and contented man.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
But I can't afford to properly feed myself. The TV news irritates me. I've been a Yankee fan since I was a child but I don't follow them now. I cherish my books even though I have to read with a magnifying glass. I love music and won't stop hearing more and more into it. I fret over every one of my paintings. There is no woman here, smiling or otherwise, no kids, no garden. I sleep in short spurts of time. And I am angry and distressed that illness has taken me away from my career.
The sound that you hear is my silent, fundamental, existential scream of rage and sorrow.
Come and sing with me, all you who are dissatisfied, even to any degree, with the conditions and limitations of your life. Come sing with me and we will raise the spirits that have ignored us and call them to account for their neglect. Come sing with me the song of the struggling pilgrim.
DB - The Vagabond
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
The Daily Items
For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him?
I Corinthians
****************
Item #1 -- The difference between childhood and old age is that when you are a child, most of the people in the world are older than you are. They have most of the wisdom and most of the authority. And then one day, one hour, one moment when you don't realize it, suddenly most of the people in the world are younger than you are. They may not have most of the wisdom but they have most of the authority.
Item #2 -- On Thursday of last week the computer erased about 16 hours of my work. No getting it back. I've redone about 3 hours if it. I'm searching for my enthusiasm.
Item #3 -- Upon Krissy's suggestion, which was a good one, I cleaned out my closet. As a result I have a large leather bag filled to the brim with clothes, most of it in good condition. I wanted to donate it to the Salvation Army, but they don't send a truck to pick up just a single bag. So here it sits.
Item #4 -- This month, the month of the Income Tax and a malfunctioning telephone, I must go from the 1st to the 21st with no income. The longest possible stretch to the SS check. At the end of the month there will be no money left, but there will be a bit of standard type food in the apartment, finally, food I don't have to chew. Wasn't it T. S. Eliot who said April is the cruelest month?
APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering
5
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
(TSE)
Item #5 -- There's another exhibit of paintings by local artists, But I'm unable to display any of my paintings. It's in another town and I had no means of getting them there.
Item #6 -- No one is expected to know who JB is.
Item #7 -- One effect of living a vagabond life is learning to do things for myself, even if it takes my three times as long. I'm not used to asking for help. I don't know where help is.
Item #8 -- The computer is not enabling me to post "gadgets." Thanks to Bill I have a camera to take photos of my paintings. But then I don't know if I can put them up. I'll have to solve that somehow. And I'll have to get my printer working.
Item #9 -- Will power is a mighty thing and something we must never sacrifice to an emasculated god. It must always be used for benefit, never for harm.
Item #10 -- My first real job, as a teenager with a Social Security number, was at the Port Chester Daily Item. I worked in the circulation department one summer. I operated a machine that wrapped up newspapers for the mail. Two summers later I had my first professional acting job.
DB - The Vagabond
********************
I Corinthians
****************
Item #1 -- The difference between childhood and old age is that when you are a child, most of the people in the world are older than you are. They have most of the wisdom and most of the authority. And then one day, one hour, one moment when you don't realize it, suddenly most of the people in the world are younger than you are. They may not have most of the wisdom but they have most of the authority.
Item #2 -- On Thursday of last week the computer erased about 16 hours of my work. No getting it back. I've redone about 3 hours if it. I'm searching for my enthusiasm.
Item #3 -- Upon Krissy's suggestion, which was a good one, I cleaned out my closet. As a result I have a large leather bag filled to the brim with clothes, most of it in good condition. I wanted to donate it to the Salvation Army, but they don't send a truck to pick up just a single bag. So here it sits.
Item #4 -- This month, the month of the Income Tax and a malfunctioning telephone, I must go from the 1st to the 21st with no income. The longest possible stretch to the SS check. At the end of the month there will be no money left, but there will be a bit of standard type food in the apartment, finally, food I don't have to chew. Wasn't it T. S. Eliot who said April is the cruelest month?
APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering
5
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
(TSE)
Item #5 -- There's another exhibit of paintings by local artists, But I'm unable to display any of my paintings. It's in another town and I had no means of getting them there.
Item #6 -- No one is expected to know who JB is.
Item #7 -- One effect of living a vagabond life is learning to do things for myself, even if it takes my three times as long. I'm not used to asking for help. I don't know where help is.
Item #8 -- The computer is not enabling me to post "gadgets." Thanks to Bill I have a camera to take photos of my paintings. But then I don't know if I can put them up. I'll have to solve that somehow. And I'll have to get my printer working.
Item #9 -- Will power is a mighty thing and something we must never sacrifice to an emasculated god. It must always be used for benefit, never for harm.
Item #10 -- My first real job, as a teenager with a Social Security number, was at the Port Chester Daily Item. I worked in the circulation department one summer. I operated a machine that wrapped up newspapers for the mail. Two summers later I had my first professional acting job.
DB - The Vagabond
********************
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
TY
Dear Folks
Thank you everyone for your kind comments and emails. Bless you all. These are very hard days for me now and will probably remain so at least until the end of the month. But I will respond to everyone personally, I promise.
DB
Thank you everyone for your kind comments and emails. Bless you all. These are very hard days for me now and will probably remain so at least until the end of the month. But I will respond to everyone personally, I promise.
DB
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Freedom
I want freedom. I want to be free from poverty and debt, free from illness and decrepitude. Don't make me ride in confined spaces. Let me walk along an open road. Let my shoulders feel the sun and the rain. Let me look farther than I can see. Let me be grateful for things I do not lose. Free me from my past, let me not think about it. Don't imprison me and don't chain me to needs and musts. Let the great wide open silence be interrupted only by beautiful songs. Don't frighten me with closed doors I can't open. Don't invite me into small, dark rooms. Don't put me with the crowd. Don't surround me with breakable things. Let me listen to the wind and read the running brooks. Throw me overboard and let me float on ocean waves. Let my stories be confined in books to sit up on the shelves. Let my paintings be confined in frames and hung on the walls. But don't confine me. Let me be free.
And when I die please don't put me in a box. Spread me out in a field and let the wild ones dine on me. Let me feed the eagles.
DB
And when I die please don't put me in a box. Spread me out in a field and let the wild ones dine on me. Let me feed the eagles.
DB
Friday, April 16, 2010
News
I'm not writing because I don't want to write bad news, but bad news is all I have to write about.
There is no good news.
DB
There is no good news.
DB
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Transitions
Time changes everything except something within us which is always surprised by change,
Thomas Hardy
******************
With apologies to Ecclesiastes:
There is a time to think and a time stop thinking.
There is a time to pick up and a time to scatter.
There is a time to remember and a time to forget.
There is a time to wonder and a time to decide.
There is a time to get dressed and a time to get undressed.
There is a time to consider our responsibilities and a time to be irresponsible.
There is a time to wash the dishes and a time to leave them in the sink.
There is a time to hope and a time to feel hopeless.
There is a time to cut the hair and a time to let it grow.
There is a time to give up and a time to try again.
There is a time to diet and a time to eat that piece of cake.
There is a time to spend money and a time to save it.
There is a time to bow your head and a time to lift it up.
There is a time to laugh and a time to weep.
There is a time to do the laundry and a time to leave it where it is.
There is a time to ponder immortality and a time to take a nap.
There is a time to pray and a time to curse.
There is a time to walk and a time to sit still.
There is a time to know yourself and a time to be confused.
There is a time to frolic and a time to meditate.
There is a time to resist and a time to relent.
There is a time to learn and a time to unlearn.
There is a time to work and a time to rest.
There is a time to turn on the light and a time to turn it off.
There is a time to speak and a time to keep your mouth shut.
There is a time to tend your garden and a time to let nature do it.
There is a time to play your flute and a time to leave in it its case.
There is a time to plan your future and a time to live for the moment.
There is a time to see clearly and a time to be bewildered.
There is a time to sleep and a time to stay awake.
There is a time to go out and a time to stay at home.
There is a time to write and a time to stop writing.
The Vagabond
*****************
SPRING QUESTION
(This is not a contest.)
In your opinion what is the most amazing thing that could happen during this decade? Make it as outrageous as you want but keep it within the realm of what you consider a possibility.
Only 5 responses so far.
Answers will be published the first day of Summer.
dbdacoba@aol.com
DB - The Vagabond
*******************
Thomas Hardy
******************
With apologies to Ecclesiastes:
There is a time to think and a time stop thinking.
There is a time to pick up and a time to scatter.
There is a time to remember and a time to forget.
There is a time to wonder and a time to decide.
There is a time to get dressed and a time to get undressed.
There is a time to consider our responsibilities and a time to be irresponsible.
There is a time to wash the dishes and a time to leave them in the sink.
There is a time to hope and a time to feel hopeless.
There is a time to cut the hair and a time to let it grow.
There is a time to give up and a time to try again.
There is a time to diet and a time to eat that piece of cake.
There is a time to spend money and a time to save it.
There is a time to bow your head and a time to lift it up.
There is a time to laugh and a time to weep.
There is a time to do the laundry and a time to leave it where it is.
There is a time to ponder immortality and a time to take a nap.
There is a time to pray and a time to curse.
There is a time to walk and a time to sit still.
There is a time to know yourself and a time to be confused.
There is a time to frolic and a time to meditate.
There is a time to resist and a time to relent.
There is a time to learn and a time to unlearn.
There is a time to work and a time to rest.
There is a time to turn on the light and a time to turn it off.
There is a time to speak and a time to keep your mouth shut.
There is a time to tend your garden and a time to let nature do it.
There is a time to play your flute and a time to leave in it its case.
There is a time to plan your future and a time to live for the moment.
There is a time to see clearly and a time to be bewildered.
There is a time to sleep and a time to stay awake.
There is a time to go out and a time to stay at home.
There is a time to write and a time to stop writing.
The Vagabond
*****************
SPRING QUESTION
(This is not a contest.)
In your opinion what is the most amazing thing that could happen during this decade? Make it as outrageous as you want but keep it within the realm of what you consider a possibility.
Only 5 responses so far.
Answers will be published the first day of Summer.
dbdacoba@aol.com
DB - The Vagabond
*******************
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