Wounds

It has been said on the phone, the Internet, by Verizon and local friends that no one knows of anyone who has had as much computer trouble as I have. I don't know if that is true but this last cyber attack has left me wounded.

I thought it might be interesting for people to know how I moved in here 2 days before the WTC came down and how if I had still been in NY I might have been in the building, stuck underneath it for hours in a subway or perhaps even seen it happen. I thought it might be of interest how in the early days of Vagabond Journeys, when I was posting nothing but quotes and occasional simple comments, I was discovered by the ever active, ever vital Linda of Washington State who began telling people about me and how I thus began making friends with a lot of people I never knew. I thought it might be of interest to tell about me becoming acquainted with the local art organization and how I got to exhibit some of my work and how I have published a few stories in a local paper. Maybe those things are of no particular interest to anyone but me. But to have an entry, written with a great feeling of love and appreciation for the good things that have come to me as a result of knowing the people I have met over the years, snatched away from me before I could even post it on my blog, has left me with a deep feeling of worthlessness.

During the 4 days of last week I spent altogether 14 hours with the phone pressed up against my ear so hard it hurt, trying to hear and understand someone who was trying to figure out what was wrong. That is not something I want to do again. Period.

I don't feel the inclination or enthusiasm to do any more writing after I post this. I'll wait until all the 9/11 memorials are over and then see where I am.

I haven't given up. There are more things to do in life.

DB