What A Mess

THE TALE OF THE FIVE COMPUTERS




I was off line for 17 days. My computer originally went berserk on March 12th, my birthday. (Happy Birthday Dana). I called AOL and the fellow there was able to get me back on line that night. But only that night. The next morning, nothing . It behaved like an old mule that wont do anything but eat grass and poop.



It took 20 minutes to finish setting up the windows, another 10 minutes of a blank screen after which a white arrow magically appeared. Eventually, during a period of time when I could have gone to the market and back, the desk top popped up. But it only had a few icons on it and they were very large. I clicked on the one that said AOL and got nothing, not even a pink slip or a nasty note. Nothing.



I clicked on Internet Explorer, got that page and typed in AOL.com. The reply was "unable to show this web page" or words to that effect. I typed in yahoo and google and got the same compassionless result.



I had a phone conversation with a friend in Princeton who said they had a good computer, a Dell, they were going to have recycled, why not give to me instead. As wary as I am of any computers entering my home I agreed. So they brought it. I should have set it up while they were there but I wanted to visit with them instead. After they left I set it up, made certain all the cables came from the old computer to the new one in the exact order and turned it on. No good. No going on line, naturally. I say "naturally" because computers and I have an adversarial relationship. Who was I to think this one was going to work?



I called Verizon and had them fuss around, passing me back and forth to several different "experts" until they finally decided to send out a technician to see for himself what the problem was. He came. Fussed around, told me all the connections were right, got on line with his lap top and told me the problem was with the Dell, and left. So I called Princeton.



Not believing that the Dell was faulty she agreed to take it into the shop to have it checked out and repaired if necessary. In the meantime she brought a lap top she wasn't using for me to use while the Dell was being made ready. But her lap top wouldn't go on line either. Surprise.



She took it and the Dell with her. "Now I am alone" using my old useless HP as a table top. During the weekend I went to the supermarket where my shopping cart broke down. I made it home with the groceries but the cart is now on the parch in a pile.



On Monday I called and was tole that it would take at least a week to find out about the Dell. I did a lot of reading. Finally I was told that there was nothing they could do with the Dell. More surprise.



Today she brought two lap tops and managed to get one to work. After much Amazonian effort, while I watched, expectantly but suspiciously, she got on line and I sat down in front of 120 emails.



Now I have a Rube Goldberg arrangement. The lap top is sitting on my HP. It's internal mouse doesn't function so my mouse is plugged into it. In front of me I have a keyboard and two monitors. One of them works. Attached to the lap top is a four way UBS socket so my printer can go into it. There is no way to plug in the speakers, so the only scratchy sound comes out of the lap top Not good for music. Some of the wires are stretched to an micro inch of their lives. And you should see the mess of wires that drools off my desk and onto the floor. No you shouldn't.



"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we try to attached all the wires to our computers and the various devices that serve us so unpredictably.



So the Vagabond is back, with scars and with regrets that he missed out on a couple of weeks of your company.



Dana Bate

Never Give Up