Carpe Diem

Catch, then, O catch the transient hour, improve the moment as it flies.

Saint Jerome
****************
Hello Ally
****************
I was born in 1939. That was known as the Post Depression Era. There were wealthy people of course. There are always wealthy people, most of whom know nothing at all about wealth. But for the average guy, facing the horrible memories and echoes of the depression, the most important thing was to have a job. It really didn't matter, in many cases, what the job was as long as it provided a living wage. I grew up with that ethic drummed into me. I shouldn't think about having a career. Get a job.

In my recent move I've uncovered many things that have been packed away for want of space. Now that I have some room I'm unpacking boxes and discovering what is inside them. One of the things I found is my original Social Security card. I never had it replaced because I haven't had to show it to anyone for many years. You might say it's a collectors item.

It reminded me of my first job, a stand up job running a machine that wrapped up to mail issues of the Port Chester Daily Item of Port Chester, New York. For an entire summer I stood at a table with a stack of brown wrappers in front of me each with a number on it. The numbers repersented the number of papers I had to wrap. I would slide them across the wrappers into a small forked arm of metal and step on a switch. The machine did the rest. I put the wrapped papers in a pile and later someone came by to collect them. I took a bus back and forth to work and at lunch break I had a burger at Scotty's Diner. Four years later I had my first professional acting job.

The theatre became my career, my profession and my job. But I got side tracked into a radio announcing job that was very good. Although a cornucopia of difficulties and tensions, radio can be a lucrative and satisfying endeavor, I made money, I was satisfied, I was self-satisfied, life was good, the future was rosy, I thought. I didn't have to worry about anything. I had a job.

I was the afternoon announcer. In the evenings, after dinner and a few drinks I would put myself to sleep watching aimless, inane television. I did that for seven years. SEVEN YEARS.

Today that is one of the greatest regrets of my life. What did I do with all that time I had given myself? Nothing. At about the same time as that was beginning to worry me I was growing dissatisfied with just broadcasting. Although for some announcers going on the air everyday was a thrill, for me the thrill was gone. Then I heard the Paul Simon song "One man's ceiling is another man's floor." It hit me that what I was doing was bumping my head on the ceiling. I had to move on. (What? And give up your job?)

I did, and went back into the theatre which kept me active and busy, challenged and involved with life up to it's full cup and running over. No regrets, except that I didn't do it sooner.

Now I write every day and paint often. I am busy, productive and reasonably happy, in spite of personal problems. I don't want to waste another moment of life, and I pass along the same advice to everyone.

There is a useless, pointless life to be lived drinking yourself silly every night or getting high on drugs and playing stupid games on a screen or in a bed. Life is the most important thing you have. Why waste it?

The present is what we have and what we always have, in fact it's all we have. It should be grasped, seized and improved on in every way possible. It doesn't matter what you do with the present moment as long as you don't waste it.

Dana Bate - The Vagabond
Never Give Up
************************

Behind The Drape

The friendship that can cease has never been real.

Saint Jerome
**********************
How many ways have I been fooled? Let me count them. No, let me not. I'll just count one. My propensity for allowing the linen drapery to be pulled over my vision when it comes to assessing other people's character. I have written, and I believe, it is the network of friendships that keeps civilization intact. When that net is broken it needs to be repaired.

A friend is one with whom you agree and disagree, one with whom you share secrete and confidences, one with whom you can laugh and cry. A friend is one you must visit in the hospital or the prison. A friend is one who knows what's wrong with you and doesn't care. A friend is one who forgives you and whom you forgive if necessary. A friend is one who supports you in your ambitions. A friend is one who gladly shares your successes, who is not jealous of your good fortune or contented to see your failures.

I used to have a goodly collection of friends. Or so I thought. But over the years so many of them have disappeared from my life without a reason. My attempts to contact them and understand their coldness have been without response.

In one case it was someone I had known for 20 years. In another case it was people I had known for over 30 years. I thought there was real friendship there. I was fooled. The drapery finally came off and the charade was over.

The one time I broke off a relationship with someone it was unnecessary because the "friendship" was already over, in fact it had never been there. Someone I had known for decades suddenly became hostile and malignant toward me. The lies he told weren't even in disguise. There were sign posts along the way and I paid no attention to them. I was very forthright and honest with him about why I no longer considered him a friend.

But another person I knew well convinced himself I had done something to him (which I didn't do) and that I had lied about it. He would not believe me and so I was written out of his life without a word.

There are others who have gone with no explanation even though I have asked for one. I have often said that I probably like people better than they like me. In all these cases the coldness hasn't changed my feelings about them. If one of my former friends showed up at my door I would probably take him in. But now I am much more cautious about offers of friendship and professions of love. A false friend can be more hurtful than an enemy.

Now I have a small collection of friendly people thanks to Google. But I've actually only met one of them, and he's a good guy. The rest are invisible. They are behind the drapery for now. Will they be lasting friends? I hope so. Time will tell.

The lesson is to be careful about who you take into your heart as a friend. If it doesn't come back to you in a way you can believe is real keep at least an arms length between you. Call me naive but I never want to believe there is a dagger hiding behind the drapery. I'm finally growing up.

Shakespeare had the best advice, as usual: "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none."

DB - The Vagabond
***********************

WEEKEND PUZZLE

Let us now praise middle names.

These are the middle names of some famous and infamous wh dwellers.
Who are they?

ABRAM
ALAN
CLARK
DAVID
EARL
GAMALIEL
HENRY
HOWARD
KNOX
RUDOLPH
SIMPSON
WALKER
WILSON

Good luck
DB
*************************