If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.
Maxwell Maltz
********************
Many years ago I knew a woman, I won't tell you her name, who had definitely made up her mind, with no encouragement from me whatsoever, that I was going to be her next husband. I found her neither interesting nor attractive. Besides a woman who lines up husbands like pictures in a hallway is suspicious to most men anyway.
She hung around the theatre where I worked making herself obtrusive and obvious. Romance was certainly on her mind. It wasn't on mine. When her advances were met with no reaction from me I know she got frustrated. One day she said "Don't you ever get lonely?" To which I replied "No" which wasn't true of course. Who doesn't get lonely? One can be lonely at a dinner table full of family and friends. I went on to say "I keep excellent company with myself. I agree with almost everything I say. I don't bitch at myself for leaving dirty dishes in the sink or clothes on the floor. And when I come home everybody there is glad to see me."
There are advantages to living alone, as I do. For one thing you can be your own best friend. I get very angry with myself when I do a stupid thing, much angrier than I would get with someone else. But I can quickly forgive myself and hold no grudge.
I can plan all sorts of exciting adventures and set wonderful goals for myself, but my friend listens quietly and then says "Sure, sure, Buddy. You're just dreaming. Forget about it."
If I do something good I'm the first one to step up to congratulate myself for it.
If I'm having bad memories my friend convinces me to stop thinking about them. If I'm having good ones he shares the experiences with me. If I forget to take the shopping list, like today, he's right there to remind me what was on it. I my heart is broken he heaves a big sigh and weeps for me.
All in all he's a good guy. I'm glad I know him.
DB - The Vagabond
************************
SPRING QUESTION
(This is not a contest.)
In your opinion what is the most amazing thing that could happen during this decade? Make it as outrageous as you want but keep it within the realm of what you consider a possibility.
Only 8 responses so far.
Answers will be published the first day of Summer.
Thank you.
dbdacoba@aol.com
DB - The Vagabond
*******************
Showing posts with label being alone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label being alone. Show all posts
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Sold On Solo
The wipers don't work and the horn don't blow,
But there ain't nothin' wrong with the radio.
Aaron Tippin
*********************
Years ago I became accustomed to the fact that I would probably be spending the holidays alone. I was out of town working, or in transit, or filling a radio shift for an announcer who took a vacation day to be with his family.
In my youth the holidays were obligatory affairs. The coming together of a family that didn't particularly want to be together. Those who drank got drunk. The others either gossiped or fought with each other about something. The children, myself included, were bored, It perked up one year when my brother's kids were youngsters, But that was only once.
Frankly I was glad not to have to be a part of the so-called festivities. I was more content to be by myself. And so it has been most of my life.
There were exceptions. A couple of years ago I spent Christmas with a four star family of friends in Vermont. And several years ago I spent a few days with another family in California that turned unfriendly. Earlier this week I went to the local artists organization Christmas party and met some very nice people. But on the days of celebration I am usually alone.
I don't have plenty, no big Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, But I have enough. Sometimes not quite enough, but I make do with what I have. I don't have all the music I want or all the literature but what I have enables me to journey to great places where the joy of meeting and discovering new ideas happens. I can tuck myself into a corner of my small apartment, with a single lamp shining across my desk, a fresh cup of coffee and an open book. I am instantly with a friend, celebrating. It's a cozy way to spend New Years Eve or any other eve.
Some would say "But don't you miss the company of other people?" Of course I do. But I'm in the company of great thinkers and artists with the stimulating and inspiring conversations it brings me. And these friends never turn their backs on me. They may not always agree with each other, particularly about complex philosophical issues, but they are gracious and intelligent about it, They're my real family and I love them.
There's north country lore which says you can tell how much snow there's going to be in the winter by seeing how high the spiders are instinctively building their webs to prepare for it. I'm no spider (I am not!) but even before I knew what the weather forecast was I had the strong feeling I should stock up. So yesterday I went to the market and came back with enough groceries to take me into next week. Now I learn that beginning today we are going to have a major storm, the worst storm in 100 years according to the overly dramatic local meteorologists. Instinct is a wonderful thing.
DB
But there ain't nothin' wrong with the radio.
Aaron Tippin
*********************
Years ago I became accustomed to the fact that I would probably be spending the holidays alone. I was out of town working, or in transit, or filling a radio shift for an announcer who took a vacation day to be with his family.
In my youth the holidays were obligatory affairs. The coming together of a family that didn't particularly want to be together. Those who drank got drunk. The others either gossiped or fought with each other about something. The children, myself included, were bored, It perked up one year when my brother's kids were youngsters, But that was only once.
Frankly I was glad not to have to be a part of the so-called festivities. I was more content to be by myself. And so it has been most of my life.
There were exceptions. A couple of years ago I spent Christmas with a four star family of friends in Vermont. And several years ago I spent a few days with another family in California that turned unfriendly. Earlier this week I went to the local artists organization Christmas party and met some very nice people. But on the days of celebration I am usually alone.
I don't have plenty, no big Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, But I have enough. Sometimes not quite enough, but I make do with what I have. I don't have all the music I want or all the literature but what I have enables me to journey to great places where the joy of meeting and discovering new ideas happens. I can tuck myself into a corner of my small apartment, with a single lamp shining across my desk, a fresh cup of coffee and an open book. I am instantly with a friend, celebrating. It's a cozy way to spend New Years Eve or any other eve.
Some would say "But don't you miss the company of other people?" Of course I do. But I'm in the company of great thinkers and artists with the stimulating and inspiring conversations it brings me. And these friends never turn their backs on me. They may not always agree with each other, particularly about complex philosophical issues, but they are gracious and intelligent about it, They're my real family and I love them.
There's north country lore which says you can tell how much snow there's going to be in the winter by seeing how high the spiders are instinctively building their webs to prepare for it. I'm no spider (I am not!) but even before I knew what the weather forecast was I had the strong feeling I should stock up. So yesterday I went to the market and came back with enough groceries to take me into next week. Now I learn that beginning today we are going to have a major storm, the worst storm in 100 years according to the overly dramatic local meteorologists. Instinct is a wonderful thing.
DB
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