Do I Like Me?

Lean too much upon the approval of people and it becomes a bed of thorns.

Tehyi Hsieh
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Hello Rose
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Like most actors I spent my working days seeking approval. First of all I wanted to be approved of by the director so that I would get the job. Once in rehearsal I wanted the approval of my colleagues, my fellow actors. Opening night would come and I wanted the critics to approve of me. And then I wanted to impress and charm the audience.

What was this need for approval? It is not germane to a performing artist to need approval. Being liked is a side show. The main event is the preparation and performance of the play, musical, ballet or whatever. The real pleasure for an actor is in the discoveries, developments, understanding the character, being able to create that character's life and presenting the drama in a moving and believable manner with beauty and artistry night after night. When an actor achieves that accomplishment he finishes his night's work with joy and satisfaction, no matter what anyone thinks of him.

Naturally we want to be liked. We want the applause, we want the good reviews and to be respected by our employers. Who doesn't? But when approval begins to take the place of reason, reality and conscientiousness, that's when the thorns start growing.

There's this famous story about a well known actress (maybe one of you knows the story better than I do and can fill in the accompanying details). She was doing a comedy. At one point she asked the character on stage with her for a cup of tea. For some reason it was a very funny moment and the audience would roar with laughter. But one night they didn't laugh. And for the next several nights there was no laughter. She asked a friend to watch the scene and tell her what was wrong. He did and told her that by the way she spoke the line she was asking for the laugh and that she should go back to asking for the tea. She did that and the laughter resumed.

In all areas of our lives it's the integrity and honesty of how we live and what we do that counts not the measurement of our popularity. As the Suna Sirah states "Honor yourself with humility, and give yourself the esteem you deserve." And I say, graciously accept the approval you get from others but know that you don't need them to tell you how good you are.

Disappoint yourself. Forgive yourself. Do better next time. And drink a toast to yourself every day.

DB - Vagabond Journeys
Never give up.
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Give Me Three

Try to be better than yourself.

William Faulkner
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The Easter Bunny hopped in here and helped me fill out my tax form. Shall I send him over there?
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Ahhh!! Self satisfaction. The great temptation. One of the Seven Deadly Sins. Do we file it under Sloth or Pride? Or both. I'm not sure.

The wheel is a great tool and very popular, it always sells. So I'll just go on reinventing it for the rest of my life and everything will be fine.

One of the rules I lived by as a performer was "It can always be better." Some actors I knew hardly ever opened their scripts after opening night. I guess they thought the work was done and there was nothing left but to repeat themselves night after night. I admit to having the same attitude the first few years of my career. But early on, through observing the work of older actors, I realized that the work never stops even up to the last performance. There was no noticeable alteration in how they performed their roles. It was the same dive into the drama and ideas of the play and the characters, but the dive kept getting deeper. It was necessary to respond to that increased artistry, so I had to do my own diving.

I found the rule "It can always be better" very helpful in recording studios. I had worked for many recording directors, Some were very good and some were awful, particularly one blue ribbon bitch in the studios of Mutual Of New York who had no idea what she was doing and so had to bully everyone to cover up and compensate.

One director I worked for many times had a special and very effective way of working. After I finished the recording he would say "Give me three more just like that." He might make a few adjustments and then ask for three more, and then, maybe, three more after that. He was getting as much work out of me as he could so he could take it all into a studio and do the editing to come up with the best possible version of the piece. I appreciated that. After all it was my voice, my work that was going to be heard and wanted it to be the best. Not only that but, unlike some self satisfied directors, he would ask me what I thought. If I said "Well, it can always be better" he would say "Okay, let's do three more." I would go anywhere at any time of day or night to work for a director like that.

I say don't sell yourself short. You may find a formula that works and have success with it. But will there come a time when you will realize you sacrificed the person you might have been for the easy road through life?

The great conductor Leopold Stokowski used to end his orchestra rehearsals by saying "Tomorrow we do it better."

Acting on the stage or in front of a camera, playing music or baseball, taking photographs, building a garage or cooking a pot roast, it can be done better than it was yesterday The effort is what's needed and the knowledge that it can always, ALWAYS be better.

DB - The Vagabond
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pacifica62 I still don't know who you are or where you are but I sure appreciate your excellent comments. Thank you.
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SPRING QUESTION
(This is not a contest.)

In your opinion what is the most amazing thing that could happen during this decade? Make it as outrageous as you want but keep it within the realm of what you consider a possibility.

Only 3 responses so far.

Answers will be published the first day of Summer.

dbdacoba@aol.com

DB - The Vagabond
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