Pay The Price

It costs something to be what you are.

Shirley Abbott
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What is the price tag on identity? Nothing is as complex as a human being. To attempt to understand oneself is a formidable task. To succeed in understanding oneself is an amazing achievement of cosmic proportions. It's a truism to say we are all capable of more than we do. But if you turn that sage observation over on the other side it says no one in a lifetime can accomplish all he is capable of. Sacrifices must be made and those are the costs.

Everyone must sacrifice his life to something. Freedom is being able to choose what that is. Most people want to simplify things, to lead a simple, uncomplicated life, simplicity of thought and feeling, without hardships, trouble or heavy burdens. That's a noble desire. And the closer one gets to the awakening sense of one's real character and nature the more the things that confuse drop away and the simpler life becomes. So what are those things?

MONEY We were told to get a good education so you could get a good job so you could make good money so you could live in a good home raise a good family and have a good retirement. When it first became clear to me I was an actor and that was what my life was going to be about, and that I was a character actor, I knew from the outset I was not going to be rich. There are very few character actors who get rich. In an early Hollywood film John Wayne played a Swedish sailor with a perfect accent. But as his movie persona developed he gave up being a character actor for the John Wayne we are familiar with. My career as an actor has been a source of satisfaction and fulfillment to me.

PEOPLE Those who know you, approve of you and praise you for what you do are good folks to have around. Those who minimize what you do, suggest that you should be doing something else or even coax you to grow into some area that doesn't interest you or fit with you desires and visions of yourself, in other words those who underestimate or overestimate you, may be friends and good people but it is best to stay away from their influence. A former friend once looked at the price of the paints I was buying and said "This is an expensive hobby." I didn't reply to him but he should have known that for an artist art is not a hobby.

POSSESSION Things, stuff, belongings, the gewgaws, the bagatelles, the jetsam, the important do-dads that we carry and collect can sometimes decidedly get in the way of facing the joy of discovering ourselves. When I went out of town or on the road to do a show I carried only two books with me, whatever book I was reading at the time and my complete Shakespeare, a source of endless inspiration with which I will not part. Whether it's forward or up, travel light and fast.

OPINIONS They say, whoever "they" are, you can't change horses in mid stream. Well you certainly can if it's a better horse. An open mind is an angel's workshop. There are always newer, fresher ideas out there waiting to be grasped and cuddled by a sturdy seeker. The world is fond of pasting the labels of undependability, inconsistency, "flip flopping" on those who change their minds, particularly those who are outspoken about it. But when a new and improved model of behavior becomes apparent only a fool would hide behind the barn and stick to old ways of doing things because they were always done that way and any change might upset a habit maven.

FREEDOM Whatever one does with one's life there are thousands of other things one might have done. The freedom to chose how you live your life implies the necessity of letting go of things you might have done and might have been. You can do more than one thing with your life but you can't do the few hundred that you might be right for. Even the concept of the Renaissance Man, the Jack of All Trades, has its limitations. There may be no limits to your life if you don't muddle it up with a lot of unnecessary activities that don't relate to it. To give up freedom to gain freedom is not a sin. Ernie said "Work defines you life." And I say "Do the work you love." If you do the work you love you will never do a day's work in your life, some wise person said.

OTHER THINGS There may be many things that must be left behind on the joyful road to self discovery and only you will know what they are. Some may be hardly noticeable and some may be heartbreaking. But if it is necessary to pay the cost and let them go, then do it and don't look back. Look forward.

To discover one's true identity and have the freedom to live it is an everyday blessing, which is ours, if we are willing to pay the price.

DB - The Vagabond
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AUTUMN QUESTION

(This is not a contest.)

At what event of the past do you wish you could be present? Why?

8 responses so far.

dbdacoba@aol.com

Thank you.
DB
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Careful Comparison 2/10/09

The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.

Joseph Campbell
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Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whatever it is by you.
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"One of these things is not like the others." Wasn't that the song they used to sing on Sesame Street? Or maybe they still do, I don't know. Maybe you were shown three triangles and a square and you had to guess it was the square that wasn't like the others. Or maybe it was an orange, a plum, a grapefruit and a softball. It's the softball that's different, of course, because the others are all fruits. But what if they took out the plum and put in a banana? Now you have three globes and a long, thin thing. Which one is different?

The game is supposed to help us to categorize things. But, even though the orange and the grapefruit are similar they are not the same, and neither of them resemble the banana. The fact is they are all different from each other. Even the two grapefruits are different. Which one of these things is not like the others? All of them.

Then it can get nasty. Here are three white men and one black man. Which one of these things is not like the others? Or even four white men or four black men can get categorized. "He's nice but he's not one of us." "He's not our kind."

To identify something or someone is worthwhile if, and only if, it is properly done. But making comparisons may rob a person of his individuality and either puts him into a group with a label, or it excludes him from others with whom he may have a lot in common. "Comparisons are odorous" Shakespeare says, and the smell may get obnoxious.

What's also bad is to label yourself as a member of some group of people in the attempt to find an identity. That is such an easy marching band to fall in step with, and we all do it sometimes. A fog of uncertainty about ourselves creeps in, the light dims and the band starts playing. It's so much easier to put the uniform on, get in line and not ask questions. So much more difficult but essential to our lives is to discover who we really are without making any comparisons with other people. It is our individuality that makes us different. You are the only one of your kind. You are not like any of the others and neither are any of the others. And being who you are is the great obligation and privilege of life.

DB - The Vagabond

Look at yourself in the mirror, smile at yourself, and mean it.