Don't Let It Pass

As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.

Albert Schweitzer
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Hello Sue
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This is a subject that is dear to me these days. An act of kindness can be a mighty thing. Kindness often appears to have some divine unction. Other times it seems to have some occult power. An act of kindness may seem to be no more important than a raindrop which has no power to vaporize hostilities, but it might, and persistent kindness most definitely will.

Thee is a story about couple who were breaking up. Too many marital problems had caused a lot of resentment and dislike between them. She was filing for a divorce. But then one day when he wasn't there she saw a pair of his shoes sitting on the floor near the closet. She thought about the man she had loved who wore those shoes, about the brave things he had done when he was wearing them and how, over time, they had been shaped to fit, to caress his feet. She polished and shined them and put them back where they were. When he came home later and noticed what she had done it was like a moment of renewal for them.

There is a problem with kindness when the person you want to be kind to is no longer in your life. There are former friends and family members I wish I could do something nice for. But they are gone. Either they passed from the scene or I don't know where they are, Love and good thoughts are fine, but we often want a hands on expression of our love.

I have a former friend in New York who is convinced I wronged him.. I didn't, but there is no way to change his mind because he won't answer my mail or my calls. And that's another problem, when two people are no longer talking to each other.

In my recent awful experience when I found that a dear friend was deceiving me and being false the friendship ended with a lot of resentment and pain. Even so, my light is always on for a simple act of kindness and reconciliation, But it will probably never happen, alas. My email is blocked. We no longer know each other.

When those opportunities are lost, when those chances pass, of divine unction and spiritual power, those moments of a simple act of kindness. When they are passed by and lost it's a tragic waste.

There is no "why" or "because" about true kindness. It just is.

Dana - The Vagabond
Never Give Up
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Reconciliation, part 2

Dear Folks, thank you for your wise words and sound advice with which you all agree. It has been over two months but I finally got to the point where i can think of her and what she did without that wrenching pain in my gut.
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It turned out that my kind and generous friend was continually deceiving me. Deception is fatal to love and friendship. Is reconciliation even possible?



Linda Smith Shook My advice~forgive but don't forget the deception.

Arlene (AJ) has left a new comment on your post "Reconciliation":
Reconciliation may be possible, but is it truly something you would want....I would be leery that something else would happen down the line. You just have to allow yourself to move forward and learn from this.
mrs.missalaineus has left a new comment on your post "Reconciliation": only if you want the door to remain open for the deception to happen again.
there is no shame in walking away from someone who is toxic to you DB.
being kind to others is not about letting them victimize you-
i hope this helps you make your peace with the situation.
Donna has left a new comment on your post "Reconciliation":
Are you familiar with the old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me"?
Don't be a victim.

Big Mark 243 has left a new comment on your post "Reconciliation":
No. Simple as that. Lose no sleep over it either.

pacifica62 has left a new comment on your post "Reconciliation":
Reconciliation is possible, but would you really want it. Can't go back to the way things were and in order to go forward you would have to deal with a lot of issues like trust, truth and respect. I am with the other readers that say cut your losses and move on. Open your heart to someone who will be kind to you.
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To forgive her is inevitable at some point. Reconciliation is near unto impossible. Some sort of revenge is absolutely not an option.

I regret not being more proactive when it all came down. I even allowed myself to be insulted, but not intimidated, by that fool of a dealer, due to my non confrontational character. I regret some of the harsh things I wrote about her. They came out of intense pain and fear. But I do not regret dropping her from my life and moving away. It was the right thing to do. "I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my god, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness."

Thank you all for your compassion and good advice.

Dana

Reconciliation

It turned out that my kind and generous friend was continually deceiving me. Deception is fatal to love and friendship. Is reconciliation even possible?