Showing posts with label reputation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reputation. Show all posts
Thursday, August 30, 2012
In The Mirror
Reputation is what you are in the light.
Character is what you are in the dark.
Unknown
******************
Hello Ernie
******************
Years ago I followed a certain spiritual path that required me to sit in front of a mirror for a long time looking at myself. It was an exercise in self awareness. But the basic benefit was to engage in a dialogue with my conscience. I would go through the recent events of my life, noting my behavior in each case and measuring myself against them all to determine what I did that was true to myself and what wasn't. It's almost impossible to lie to yourself while looking yourself in the eye.
It was a very helpful exercise for a while. With each label I found to describe my actions I could determine what to affirm and what to discard. And with what was left I could illustrate to myself what I was at that given time. It helped me to be watchful and careful about doing or saying anything that did not fit with the character I had fashioned myself to be. It also astonished me to find out that I really did have a consience and that sometimes I ignored it.
I finally stopped looking in the mirror except to shave. Instead I began looking out from the mirror and back at myself as a person among others. In effect the world became my mirror. I grew more aware of how people responded to me and tried to be in person the character I had discovered "in the dark." Did I slip up? More times than I have the courage to admit.
I had a fairly good reputation as a broadcaster and actor. There's an old saying in radio "You're only as good as your last station break." A good reputation can take time to build up and you can lose it in a moment. It is really something owned by others and only loaned to you by them. But character, good or bad, is impossible to lose. It can only be changed or improved, because you own it. It's yours to find in the dark, in front of a mirror or in your own thoughts as you pick and choose between what to keep about yourself and what to throw off. And when you step out into the light that character is yours no matter what your reputation is.
Dana Bate - The Vagabond
Never Give Up.
**************************
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
The Overhaul
Character is much easier kept than recovered.
Thomas Paine
**************************
Hello Diane
**************************
"Watchman, tell us of the night."
The night is past. The past is the night.
************************************
Lately I've been thinking of doing a complete overhaul of myself. It's not something I particularly want to do but it seems to be a necessary activity every now and then at no special time. It's sort of like testing the structure of my house to see if it's still stress worthy and if not to replace the worn out brinks and beams, and to find out just how much of a peculiar person I have become.
For one thing I know that certain garments of good reputation have been cast off along the way. Reputation is almost a non entity in the life of a vagabond. It's as hard to define as grace. You can lose a reputation through a rumor or because you don't do what some people think you should do. Hence I don't worry about my reputation. If it means doors closed to me, so what, there's another door somewhere.
Character is another matter. It is only peripherally related to reputation. A person can have a lousy reputation and still have strength of character. Those who lack it, wimps and bullies, for example, have little idea of what a good character is made. But maybe they learn.
If one is fortunate enough to grow up with a good influence around them, the example of a good man or a good woman, building a character that is positive and harmonious is much easier. The rest of us have to work at it. It's a trial and error program of education.
Scraping through the ashes of one's past is a futile activity and I make repeated efforts to convince people not to do it. The only benefit to me is to uncover the echoes of things I did that let myself down, that tarnished my character. I call them echoes because they can only be real if they relate to the way I am and think and behave today. And that's where the overhauling comes in.
Self sacrifice should not mean turning over your whole life to take care of someone or something to the detriment of your own well being, not if love is involved. The best self sacrifice can mean giving up those ideas, beliefs, traits and habitual activities, some of which you may cherish but that are antagonistic to your own well being and those around you. That requires courage, discipline and a cold hard objective look at yourself.
Check the ground under your feet. Has any of it washed away? Check the bricks of your beliefs. Do any of them need to be replaced? Check the walls. Have you allowed any mental termites to get in? Check the staircase . Are your hopes and plans still sturdy? Check the roof. Are you safely protected from the storms of life?
So with the proper tools in hand, I hope, I've begun the overhaul to determine how much character I have left and to restore the rest. Wish me luck. (Good luck Vagabond.)
DB - Vagabond Journeys
Never Give Up
Thomas Paine
**************************
Hello Diane
**************************
"Watchman, tell us of the night."
The night is past. The past is the night.
************************************
Lately I've been thinking of doing a complete overhaul of myself. It's not something I particularly want to do but it seems to be a necessary activity every now and then at no special time. It's sort of like testing the structure of my house to see if it's still stress worthy and if not to replace the worn out brinks and beams, and to find out just how much of a peculiar person I have become.
For one thing I know that certain garments of good reputation have been cast off along the way. Reputation is almost a non entity in the life of a vagabond. It's as hard to define as grace. You can lose a reputation through a rumor or because you don't do what some people think you should do. Hence I don't worry about my reputation. If it means doors closed to me, so what, there's another door somewhere.
Character is another matter. It is only peripherally related to reputation. A person can have a lousy reputation and still have strength of character. Those who lack it, wimps and bullies, for example, have little idea of what a good character is made. But maybe they learn.
If one is fortunate enough to grow up with a good influence around them, the example of a good man or a good woman, building a character that is positive and harmonious is much easier. The rest of us have to work at it. It's a trial and error program of education.
Scraping through the ashes of one's past is a futile activity and I make repeated efforts to convince people not to do it. The only benefit to me is to uncover the echoes of things I did that let myself down, that tarnished my character. I call them echoes because they can only be real if they relate to the way I am and think and behave today. And that's where the overhauling comes in.
Self sacrifice should not mean turning over your whole life to take care of someone or something to the detriment of your own well being, not if love is involved. The best self sacrifice can mean giving up those ideas, beliefs, traits and habitual activities, some of which you may cherish but that are antagonistic to your own well being and those around you. That requires courage, discipline and a cold hard objective look at yourself.
Check the ground under your feet. Has any of it washed away? Check the bricks of your beliefs. Do any of them need to be replaced? Check the walls. Have you allowed any mental termites to get in? Check the staircase . Are your hopes and plans still sturdy? Check the roof. Are you safely protected from the storms of life?
So with the proper tools in hand, I hope, I've begun the overhaul to determine how much character I have left and to restore the rest. Wish me luck. (Good luck Vagabond.)
DB - Vagabond Journeys
Never Give Up
Monday, January 25, 2010
Who's this DB?
I am better than my reputation.
Friedrich Schiller
*******************
One year I had a job conducting seminars in public speaking. A speaker who is attempting to convince others will face three different groups of listeners: those who agree, those who disagree and those who aren't sure. Those who agree will continue to agree, those who aren't sure can be convinced, those who disagree will probably continue to disagree but they might be turned into those who aren't sure.
One inharmonious fact of life is that the moment you put yourself out into the public, to any degree at all, you will create those who disagree, and sometimes that disagreement can be very damaging. Other than the degree of exposure, it doesn't matter whether you are an Internet blogger or the President of the United States. As soon as you put yourself out there you will be under attack, either by anonymous trolls or life threatening assassins. And character assassination is one of the cherished forms of offense by the offensive.
What does DB stand for? Desperate Bachelor? No. Dumb Bozo? Maybe. Deep Brain? Possibly. Dear Brother? I hope so. Dilapidated Bum. Most likely. When people learn my real name I advise them not to Google me because they will probably read all sorts of things about me that aren't true.
I was never a star. I never hit the pages of People or TV Guide. But I had a public face as all performers do and had to read and hear the gossip surrounding me from those who could only be described as enemies.
What causes that enmity? Envy, an inferiority complex or it's opposite, judgmentalism, orneriness or the absurd notion that if you're out there somehow they own you. I was on the air one night when a fellow called and told me he had opinions about my work and since I was a public person he could say anything he wanted to me. He really believed that. I politely cut the conversation short.
Some people think they have private information about your secret life which you are trying to hide and which they can "leak" to the press. And, of course, the press will eat it up whether it's true or not. They can always publish a disclaimer later. But in the meantime it has become legend and part of your archive and reputation.
The only way to avoid falling into the talons of such predators is to become a complete hermit. And there are a few people who have done that, I guess. I like living alone most of the time, but the hermit's life is not for me. I enjoy knowing other people. And if anyone wants to know the deep, dark, mysterious secrets of my life, they can ask me. And I might tell them. Or I might tell them to mind their own business.
In the meantime, eschewing the false faces pasted on my reputation by those whose lives are hollow otherwise, I remain:
Respectfully yours,
DB
************************
WINTER QUESTION
(This is not a contest.)
Given the resources and opportunity, what one thing do you want to do in 2010 that you've never done before.
You have all Winter to answer. Answers will be posted on the first day of Spring.
15 responses so far.
DB - The Vagabond
Friedrich Schiller
*******************
One year I had a job conducting seminars in public speaking. A speaker who is attempting to convince others will face three different groups of listeners: those who agree, those who disagree and those who aren't sure. Those who agree will continue to agree, those who aren't sure can be convinced, those who disagree will probably continue to disagree but they might be turned into those who aren't sure.
One inharmonious fact of life is that the moment you put yourself out into the public, to any degree at all, you will create those who disagree, and sometimes that disagreement can be very damaging. Other than the degree of exposure, it doesn't matter whether you are an Internet blogger or the President of the United States. As soon as you put yourself out there you will be under attack, either by anonymous trolls or life threatening assassins. And character assassination is one of the cherished forms of offense by the offensive.
What does DB stand for? Desperate Bachelor? No. Dumb Bozo? Maybe. Deep Brain? Possibly. Dear Brother? I hope so. Dilapidated Bum. Most likely. When people learn my real name I advise them not to Google me because they will probably read all sorts of things about me that aren't true.
I was never a star. I never hit the pages of People or TV Guide. But I had a public face as all performers do and had to read and hear the gossip surrounding me from those who could only be described as enemies.
What causes that enmity? Envy, an inferiority complex or it's opposite, judgmentalism, orneriness or the absurd notion that if you're out there somehow they own you. I was on the air one night when a fellow called and told me he had opinions about my work and since I was a public person he could say anything he wanted to me. He really believed that. I politely cut the conversation short.
Some people think they have private information about your secret life which you are trying to hide and which they can "leak" to the press. And, of course, the press will eat it up whether it's true or not. They can always publish a disclaimer later. But in the meantime it has become legend and part of your archive and reputation.
The only way to avoid falling into the talons of such predators is to become a complete hermit. And there are a few people who have done that, I guess. I like living alone most of the time, but the hermit's life is not for me. I enjoy knowing other people. And if anyone wants to know the deep, dark, mysterious secrets of my life, they can ask me. And I might tell them. Or I might tell them to mind their own business.
In the meantime, eschewing the false faces pasted on my reputation by those whose lives are hollow otherwise, I remain:
Respectfully yours,
DB
************************
WINTER QUESTION
(This is not a contest.)
Given the resources and opportunity, what one thing do you want to do in 2010 that you've never done before.
You have all Winter to answer. Answers will be posted on the first day of Spring.
15 responses so far.
DB - The Vagabond
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Rigorous Responsibility 9/05/09
A good reputation may get you to the pitcher's mound, but it won't win the game.
DB - The Vagabond
**********************
Pick a number and have a seat.
________________________
There's an old saying in the radio business: "You're only as good as your last station break." To have a good reputation for anything means that people expect you to be consistently good. That's a big order. It means being good even when you don't feel like it, or when circumstances are not conducive to doing your best.
Having a good reputation is a result, not a cause. It comes about from having standards and sticking to them. It's the setting of goals and working hard to reach them. It means daily discipline in one's honest endeavors. It's being reliable and dependable.
But there's a warning to be found here. All of those efforts are good ones, but we must remember that a good reputation is what others think of us, not what we think of ourselves. It's the doing that matters, not the talk. I watched a young woman applying for a job. She listed her college degrees and what she knew how to do. The woman trying to hire her was skeptical because she had nothing to show for her work experience. As some other wise person once said, you don't build a good reputation on what you're going to do.
Finally the employer suggested and entry level position with both a job description and a salary lower than what the girl thought she deserved. I don't know whether she accepted the position or not, but I thought it was a good opportunity to show what she could do and start establishing a reputation for herself. Many people have done just that. If you go back into the archives you'll find many famous actors who played small roles in someone's film in the early days of their careers and impressed someone into giving them a larger role the next time around, both Marilyn Monroe and John Wayne to name two. (How many actresses turned down the part of the screaming captive in King Kong which Fay Wray eventually played and went on to have a long career in film and TV?)
A lot of people go for immediate stardom and success. And many of them achieve it temporarily. But it doesn't last if it isn't backed up by excellent work. Stardom may come overnight for a few, but a good reputation takes time and effort. The guy on the mound is only as good as his last pitch.
DB
___________________
Happy weekend to you and yours.
********************
DB - The Vagabond
**********************
Pick a number and have a seat.
________________________
There's an old saying in the radio business: "You're only as good as your last station break." To have a good reputation for anything means that people expect you to be consistently good. That's a big order. It means being good even when you don't feel like it, or when circumstances are not conducive to doing your best.
Having a good reputation is a result, not a cause. It comes about from having standards and sticking to them. It's the setting of goals and working hard to reach them. It means daily discipline in one's honest endeavors. It's being reliable and dependable.
But there's a warning to be found here. All of those efforts are good ones, but we must remember that a good reputation is what others think of us, not what we think of ourselves. It's the doing that matters, not the talk. I watched a young woman applying for a job. She listed her college degrees and what she knew how to do. The woman trying to hire her was skeptical because she had nothing to show for her work experience. As some other wise person once said, you don't build a good reputation on what you're going to do.
Finally the employer suggested and entry level position with both a job description and a salary lower than what the girl thought she deserved. I don't know whether she accepted the position or not, but I thought it was a good opportunity to show what she could do and start establishing a reputation for herself. Many people have done just that. If you go back into the archives you'll find many famous actors who played small roles in someone's film in the early days of their careers and impressed someone into giving them a larger role the next time around, both Marilyn Monroe and John Wayne to name two. (How many actresses turned down the part of the screaming captive in King Kong which Fay Wray eventually played and went on to have a long career in film and TV?)
A lot of people go for immediate stardom and success. And many of them achieve it temporarily. But it doesn't last if it isn't backed up by excellent work. Stardom may come overnight for a few, but a good reputation takes time and effort. The guy on the mound is only as good as his last pitch.
DB
___________________
Happy weekend to you and yours.
********************
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