Monday, January 25, 2010

Who's this DB?

I am better than my reputation.

Friedrich Schiller
One year I had a job conducting seminars in public speaking. A speaker who is attempting to convince others will face three different groups of listeners: those who agree, those who disagree and those who aren't sure. Those who agree will continue to agree, those who aren't sure can be convinced, those who disagree will probably continue to disagree but they might be turned into those who aren't sure.

One inharmonious fact of life is that the moment you put yourself out into the public, to any degree at all, you will create those who disagree, and sometimes that disagreement can be very damaging. Other than the degree of exposure, it doesn't matter whether you are an Internet blogger or the President of the United States. As soon as you put yourself out there you will be under attack, either by anonymous trolls or life threatening assassins. And character assassination is one of the cherished forms of offense by the offensive.

What does DB stand for? Desperate Bachelor? No. Dumb Bozo? Maybe. Deep Brain? Possibly. Dear Brother? I hope so. Dilapidated Bum. Most likely. When people learn my real name I advise them not to Google me because they will probably read all sorts of things about me that aren't true.

I was never a star. I never hit the pages of People or TV Guide. But I had a public face as all performers do and had to read and hear the gossip surrounding me from those who could only be described as enemies.

What causes that enmity? Envy, an inferiority complex or it's opposite, judgmentalism, orneriness or the absurd notion that if you're out there somehow they own you. I was on the air one night when a fellow called and told me he had opinions about my work and since I was a public person he could say anything he wanted to me. He really believed that. I politely cut the conversation short.

Some people think they have private information about your secret life which you are trying to hide and which they can "leak" to the press. And, of course, the press will eat it up whether it's true or not. They can always publish a disclaimer later. But in the meantime it has become legend and part of your archive and reputation.

The only way to avoid falling into the talons of such predators is to become a complete hermit. And there are a few people who have done that, I guess. I like living alone most of the time, but the hermit's life is not for me. I enjoy knowing other people. And if anyone wants to know the deep, dark, mysterious secrets of my life, they can ask me. And I might tell them. Or I might tell them to mind their own business.

In the meantime, eschewing the false faces pasted on my reputation by those whose lives are hollow otherwise, I remain:

Respectfully yours,
(This is not a contest.)

Given the resources and opportunity, what one thing do you want to do in 2010 that you've never done before.

You have all Winter to answer. Answers will be posted on the first day of Spring.
15 responses so far.

DB - The Vagabond


Judith Ellis said...

I'm happy you're out there, Dear Brother! Peace and love to you...

salemslot9 said...

I don't believe
in titles, anyroad

Rose~* said...

DB is fine with me, you mysterious person, you. Always nice to save a little mystery for another day.

mrs. miss alaineus said...

i am a firm believer that what a person has done in their past does not have to be the definitive of their life. . . .

db is as db does. i like db because the letters mirror each other and look cool back to back in a word.


Big Mark 243 said...

I often have thoughts akin to what you share here echo in my mind. Bottom line has always been that I did dare to compete and chase rather than settle for mediocrity.

Donna said...

This ties in with my morning entry about Ernie Ford, in a way.

pacifica62 said...

db we should not defined by our past and the future is not here. Therefore whoever we chose to be at this moment is who we are. False faces will be revealed, gossip will be proven untrue. Jelousy, envy and anger will wane. There is a public side to all of us but for some their life becomes fodder for zealots, crankpots and those who confuse familiarty to mean that they own you. Knowing your real name would not change my opinion of you one iota. In fact, it is wonderful to know you without all the baggage and hype that you say could surround your name and thus I have no preconcieved notions of who you are or what you are. I know you as db. I know you as a very wise, serene, sometimes humourous visionary. Nothing that has been written or said about you in the past can change that for me or cloud my opinions with judgement. db is all I need to know and I have every faith that I could recognize you based on those qualities alone.

Anne said...

You are so wise. I just figured you were in the witness protection program and your nickname was "Didn't Behave!" (winks) Anne

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

We have never even been tempted to google about you, because we are friends with the awesome DB we know today.

Nina P. said...

What is in a name but letters and sounds. It's what is in the soul and heart of the person that counts. Words can not always express who or what we have inside yet, when writing or speaking, that is all we have, so we make the best of it. We/I hope that what people get out of it is a sense of who I truly am. But alas, do I even know completely who that person is... After all, don't we evolve with life? I am not the same person I was before reading your words today, yet I am also not that different at my core.

I, as many, don't like confrontation yet it seems unavoidable at times. We are all unique within ourselves and therefore challenge each other at various levels. You challenge my heart and soul and make me think as the silent philosopher I am.... I love that about you DB, you inspire! Thank you for that my Dear Brother, Thank you.
Blessings to you and yours. Love and Light, Nina P

Anonymous said...

One thing in 2010? Realize the final step in a plan that I am so longing to complete--but do not have the courage(yet)to finalize.