We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves too often that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.
Francois de La Rochfaucauld
There was a broadcaster I knew years ago. One day he came into my studio and saw me reading a book on psychology. He wanted to know if I was interested in psychology. I told him I was trying to get in touch with my sinister side, to understand it and come to terms with it.
Here was a man who had no background or experience in broadcasting, who gave a lot of wrong information about himself to get his job, who stole other people's ideas and passed them off as his own, who aired a program in which he claimed to have gone out and interviewed a lot of people which he hadn't done, who made fun of the professionals around him, who easily took credit for things he didn't do, who made mistakes in his work but never admitted them or tried to correct them, who attempted to exert power over people he had no right to, who lied and gave false information about other people, who eavesdropped on private conversations and spread rumors and who assumed control and exercised it over the whole station.
In my studio that day he said to me with an absolutely straight face "I have no sinister side" and walked out. I didn't say anything to him but inside I laughed. It seemed to me that he was a walking poster boy for the sinister a card carrying member of the club of the underhanded, conniving and devious.
The real problem was that he really believed it. "Sinister" to him meant left handed and his understanding stopped at that point. I wonder how long it will take him to wake up to himself. He has walked around with a self designed disguise for so long any awakening is liable to be a terrible shock and he may go looking for a book on psychology to help him figure it out.
It's a great danger to sanity and well being to parade in a guise that we believe because we've held it for so long. It's a certain obstacle for understanding ourselves. I'ts something to be avoided, or to be faced and dealt with.
I haven't seen the fellow for years. All I know is that he eventually lost that job, finessed his way into another job and lost that one also. He never fooled anyone but himself.
DB - The Vagabond
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(Sit down to do this one.)