Lack of forgiveness causes almost all of our self-sabotaging behavior.
Mark Hansen
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Hello Holly
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The rule is: "Forgive, if you wish to be forgiven."
There is no single individual who has ever stepped outside his front door who hasn't done something to be forgiven for. Carelessness, missed opportunities, mistakes or just plain meanness have created cob webbian problems for himself and others.
The easiest thing to do in life, it seems, is to make a mistake, to get something wrong, to mess up, for me, and hence for everyone else. If we didn't forgive each other we would be breathing animosity instead of air. It's true that some things are more difficult to forgive than others and some people seem to be beyond forgiveness. How many times can I forgive a perpetual evil doer before he stops? That's a hard one. But if I get into the habit of forgiving it gets easier. Forgiveness, like breathing, is a choice. But like the lungs, which will work automatically once they are set in motion, forgiving can become a matter of natural fact.
I may carry around self destructive burdens of anger, hatred and a desire for revenge, all of which can eventually be cured by the medicine of forgiveness. But no matter how many scoundrels I meet in life the hardest person to forgive is myself, because, if I don't, then I have to add to my load the invisible and nasty virus of regret.
Forgiveness is hard work, but like weeding your garden, cleaning your house, supporting your family or meeting a payroll, it's a necessity of life.
And life is too good to waste it on negative feelings.
DB - The Original Vagabond
Never Give Up
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AUTUMN QUESTION
What event over the past year changed your life, a lot or a little?
Only 5 answers so far.
dbdacoba@aol.com
Autumn is moving along.
I eagerly await your answers.
DB
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Showing posts with label forgiving ourselves. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forgiving ourselves. Show all posts
Monday, November 7, 2011
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Gacious Gaffs 11/20/08
Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.
Gandhi
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Alas, with senior citizenship come regrets. In youth all of our errors we tend to take little notice of, quickly forgive ourselves for and pass them over for the next adventure But they turn out to have done nothing more than stack up under the proverbial carpet. Then comes the house cleaning time when we lift up the carpet and have to clean up the mess.
Isn't it a shame that we can't go back and undo all the dumb things we did? Why weren't we perfect at the time? Why did I forget to do this, failed to do that and did the other thing wrong? Maybe I thought I was doing the right thing at the time.
The fact is that there has never been a human who didn't make mistakes. How do they get by without taking a hatchet to their heads?
"To err is human, to forgive, divine," goes the old saying. Sure, we have to learn to forgive those who have done us wrong, either intentionally or by accident. That's a divine thing to do. But what about forgiving ourselves?
Some of my past mistakes still haunt me, and they will attack me unexpectedly, like mosquitos. I mentally dig a hole and bury them and some of them stay buried, some don't. Others are too big to bury. What to do, what to do?!
Gandhi is telling us that we have the freedom to make mistakes. Well, it seems to me that if we have the freedom to do that then we also have the right and freedom to forgive ourselves for those mistakes. Most of us don't exercise that right often enough. And so we live with the memory of errors that should have been discarded into the trash heap and left to rot somewhere long ago.
You will be surprised at what other people think of you when you realize how often they don't. So when the next regret pops into your head, look it right in the eye and say "I forgive you."
DB
Gandhi
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Alas, with senior citizenship come regrets. In youth all of our errors we tend to take little notice of, quickly forgive ourselves for and pass them over for the next adventure But they turn out to have done nothing more than stack up under the proverbial carpet. Then comes the house cleaning time when we lift up the carpet and have to clean up the mess.
Isn't it a shame that we can't go back and undo all the dumb things we did? Why weren't we perfect at the time? Why did I forget to do this, failed to do that and did the other thing wrong? Maybe I thought I was doing the right thing at the time.
The fact is that there has never been a human who didn't make mistakes. How do they get by without taking a hatchet to their heads?
"To err is human, to forgive, divine," goes the old saying. Sure, we have to learn to forgive those who have done us wrong, either intentionally or by accident. That's a divine thing to do. But what about forgiving ourselves?
Some of my past mistakes still haunt me, and they will attack me unexpectedly, like mosquitos. I mentally dig a hole and bury them and some of them stay buried, some don't. Others are too big to bury. What to do, what to do?!
Gandhi is telling us that we have the freedom to make mistakes. Well, it seems to me that if we have the freedom to do that then we also have the right and freedom to forgive ourselves for those mistakes. Most of us don't exercise that right often enough. And so we live with the memory of errors that should have been discarded into the trash heap and left to rot somewhere long ago.
You will be surprised at what other people think of you when you realize how often they don't. So when the next regret pops into your head, look it right in the eye and say "I forgive you."
DB
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