Dear Folks, thank you for your wise words and sound advice with which you all agree. It has been over two months but I finally got to the point where i can think of her and what she did without that wrenching pain in my gut.
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It turned out that my kind and generous friend was continually deceiving me. Deception is fatal to love and friendship. Is reconciliation even possible?
Linda Smith Shook My advice~forgive but don't forget the deception.
Arlene (AJ) has left a new comment on your post "Reconciliation":
Reconciliation may be possible, but is it truly something you would want....I would be leery that something else would happen down the line. You just have to allow yourself to move forward and learn from this.
mrs.missalaineus has left a new comment on your post "Reconciliation": only if you want the door to remain open for the deception to happen again.
there is no shame in walking away from someone who is toxic to you DB.
being kind to others is not about letting them victimize you-
i hope this helps you make your peace with the situation.
Donna has left a new comment on your post "Reconciliation":
Are you familiar with the old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me"?
Don't be a victim.
Big Mark 243 has left a new comment on your post "Reconciliation":
No. Simple as that. Lose no sleep over it either.
pacifica62 has left a new comment on your post "Reconciliation":
Reconciliation is possible, but would you really want it. Can't go back to the way things were and in order to go forward you would have to deal with a lot of issues like trust, truth and respect. I am with the other readers that say cut your losses and move on. Open your heart to someone who will be kind to you.
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To forgive her is inevitable at some point. Reconciliation is near unto impossible. Some sort of revenge is absolutely not an option.
I regret not being more proactive when it all came down. I even allowed myself to be insulted, but not intimidated, by that fool of a dealer, due to my non confrontational character. I regret some of the harsh things I wrote about her. They came out of intense pain and fear. But I do not regret dropping her from my life and moving away. It was the right thing to do. "I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my god, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness."
Thank you all for your compassion and good advice.
Dana
2 comments:
Most of us have probably been in your position at one time or another. We speak from experience.
I have never held the opinion that we should forgive everybody for everything. Some things are unforgivable. Deliberate lies and deception from a supposed "friend" is not something easily forgiven.
I would never consider reconciliation. It is best to try to forget, and move on (easier said than done, of course).
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