Saturday, October 3, 2009

Temporary Tacking 10/03/09

We rise, we fall, we rise.

John Tardell
(Native American poet)
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"Lift tab to open."
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I have risen and fallen many times in my vagabond career. As one who is currently in the state of the fallen, I look forward to the future. From the bottom, the area of loss and tethers, there is no way to look but up, if I don't want to stare at my walls and wonder. When the wind was at my back I made a lot of decisions. Some of them turned out to be the wrong ones. That means recovering the ground I lost. But others were not so bad, and that means being able to recognize the advantages that I still have.

I look at a pile of seemingly insurmountable difficulties, so much that I have to do, or has to be done for me, and can't even begin to think about rising again. And there are dangers down in this pit with me, daemons that take the forms of fear, depression and despair. One of the things I've managed to learn is that when I bark at them they will go back and hide in their corners. I know they will come out of hiding again, but I will bark at them again and keep barking until I get out of their way.

Nothing is repaired in an instant. Everything takes its own version of time. How long recovery takes is not usually a known quantity. But the stitching and mending goes on How long and how much effort will it take to get back to where the wind is favorable? It often seems like the ocean I live on is nothing but contrary winds, or, what's worse, no wind at all.

There is a lesson I've learned from being older. In the morning and for most of the day if I want to accomplish something in my apartment, such as wash the dishes, vacuum the floor, read my mail or anything that requires my attention and physical activity, I must do it slowly, bit by bit and not try to rush through it. Walking through my apartment has to be carefully done or I will trip on something and take a tumble. Even standing up and sitting down require delicate maneuvering. About climbing my stairs? Don't ask. I putter and mutter, but I get myself fed, showered and dressed and it doesn't matter how long it takes me. So I look at my life and the loss of the parts of it that were so valuable and important to me and realize they are all attainable once again, in other forms, perhaps, but the harmonizing elements that brought them growing up from my being are still there.

Whenever I lift the tab and open the box the contents are all still in there, and, though I can't shake them all out and use them at once, I often gently amaze myself at what I have accomplished during the day. There is more to be done today than I can do. But, instead of depressing me, that excites me and gives me hope. It means I may amaze myself again tomorrow.

DB
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Kick a few leaves around.
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Weekend Head Scratcher

Two of the items below do not belong on the list.

Which one's are they and why?

ALAND

ANDORRA

ESTONIA

FAROE ISLANDS

LIECHTENSTEIN

LUXEMBOURG

MONACO

REDONDA

SAN MARINO

SEALAND

SIKKIM

VATICAN

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
3 good answers so far.

Good luck.
DB

7 comments:

Wes said...

D.B.

"A new broom sweeps clean, but an old one knows the corners."

We as humans learn many things, sometimes we learn the hard way. I've learned that with every choice made, there is a lesson.

With time it seems too late, but it isn't. The hard part is accepting the outcome, even if it's the truth. My belief is that a mistake made is a blessing for the next man. So, he may not repeat mine.

I have to time travel to reach the wealth of your knowledge. I only hope I'm as wise and able.

Despair can be the chains that weigh a spirit down. I don't hear a heavy rattle in your heart.

Your acceptance is the key! To hear you speak of accomplishments, no matter the chore. It simply living a life that is yours today.

When I was a small child, about five years old, I cried for hours.
I hid under my parents bed, sobbing.

My tears spilled at the acceptance of life and death. That one day my parents would be gone, that I would be old. That one day I would be dead.

Then I heard a voice inside my head, it said "We are all born to die. The most important thing is how we live. Do not fear it, accept it. You must simply LIVE!"

My tears subsided, my strength helped me rise off the floor.

I find with each passing year, my strength continues to pick my spirits off the floor.

"We rise, we fall, we rise." ;)

Trite and true, with age our stride becomes new.
It may not be swift, the mind may drift.
Still the heart beats on.
It beats with wisdom,courage, and caution.
Time is not our ally, it is our wind.
Age is not our enemy, it's our oldest friend.
We mustn't let despair anchor our ship.
The wind is part of nature, it blows in various speeds.
With it's own breath.
With birth we set sail.
On our charted course for death.
The Ports!
The Islands!
The companions!
The memories...
We shall treasure.
The journey of self discovery is our souls true bounty.

May life be kind to you my friend!

Thank you for sharing your story for all to learn.

Blessed Be,
Loren Wesley Ackerman

Anne said...

Alot of times I have had to adjust my yardstick so to speak. I understand the accomplishment of simple tasks. I also understand how we have to pick up the sword and slay a dragon and how tiring that can be. I have a troll that shows his ugly face from time to time. It is important to be alpha in these cases. Love ya, D.B

Big Mark 243 said...

Interesting post. Wanted to let you know that I read it, and it is echoing in my mind.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Yes, as we get older, everything seems to slow down except time itself :o)

Liz said...

You are not a sailor until you can tack against the wind.
Although you may think at times you are not gaining any headway at least if you hold your course you are not losing what you have gained in the past.

Beth said...

Ken is so right. Sometimes I'm amazed at how quickly time is flitting by now. Sometimes it's almost scary. Hugs, Beth

Arlene (AJ) said...

DB, if we were all hoinest, we'd all have to say we have all been fallen sometime in life and been left with challenges to deal with. That's part of life and those of us who keeping reaching for the stars and don't give up will get through it. Depression, we've all had to deal with this, just know all of us who care about you are here for you....you'll get through anything, you're a strong man.