Friday, February 10, 2012


It's quiet here in hell tonight, for now. The echoes are still around but only I can hear them. I see the lonely street lamp outside in the cold night sharing its light for the traffic. There is no traffic but it will share the light anyway.

I went through my books and separated out two of my favorite catagories: history and biography. I removed my book marks and saw that they had their dust covers on, They are going to a new home in the public library. I love those books but they had to go as it is impossible to carry them with me any longer. The library will share them with others to read. Will those who read them love them as much as I do?

It is a terrible thing to give away the books you love. But not quite as tragic as to give away the person you love. Oh, the pain.
What is this need to share? Why share a light, a thing, a dinner, an experience, an adventure, a life, a love, with the unworthy, with the worthy, until there is nothing left, and years later you become someone's story, or someone's joke. Oh, oh, the pain.
Why don't I learn my lesson. Don't buy a lot of books. You will never settle down. You will never have a home. You've been a vagabond since you were 6 years old and it hasn't changed. You live in a world of strangers, trusting the untrustworthy, depending on the undependable, hoping for the gentle hand that never reaches out, or reaches out with hidden barbs. OH, the PAIN
You've always been alone, vagabond, facing the terrors of the days and nights by yourself. You've had a few, very few, visitors, but no one moves in. They have a family to go back to, they have a home. You tried to make a family out of the artists you worked with in the theatre, but they all had families and homes. You got your heart broken.

But you didn't learn. You tried once again when the gentle hand was reaching out. But you didn't see the hidden part until it was too late. And now again your heart is broken. Oh, Oh, OOOH. THE PAIN. ! ! !
Stop looking for a family and a home. Own only those books you can carry on your back and beware the gentle hand.

DB - The Vagabond
Never give up.,

1 comment:

Jon said...

I can fully relate to this. Take heart, you are not alone.....