Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Stop ! Thief !

A Gang Of Art Thieves Apprehanded


Hello Kate


The local artists group, Artists of Bristol on the Delaware, of which I am a member, used to have a gallery on the main street. But there is very little pedestrian traffic on that street and so almost no potential customers entered the gallery.

It was decided to close the gallery since we were paying rent on it but not realizing any sales. We informed the landlord and set aside one evening when we would all go down and remove our paintings. Night had fallen when we got there and we found to our surprise and frustration that the electricity had already been turned off.

Some of us were asked to pick up the pieces belonging to other artists who couldn't be there. No one had brought a flashlight. So the group of us began groping around in the dark trying to find our paintings. I found one of mine but I wasn't sure where the other one was. To help me find it I struck a match. Then I got the giggles.

At the front of the gallery there was a wide window that looked out on the street. Near by there is a sharp turn in the street where drivers would automatically slow down. I envisioned the following scenario.

A driver going by notices the light in an otherwise dark store front. Then the driver notices dark figures milling around inside, some with bags, coming in and out of the door. The driver calls 911 to report a burglary.

The police soon arrive. We and our art works are taken into custody. We are fingerprinted and photographed. Those who can post bond do so, the rest of us are put in jail pending an investigation. The art works are being held for evidence and therefore not claimable by their owners.

The local papers have been monitoring the police radio as they always do and arrive to get the scoop. The driver who spotted us is interviewed as is the officer on duty. The next morning the papers' headlines read "ALERT DRIVER FOILS ROBBERY ATTEMPT" and "GANG OF ART THIEVES APPREHANDED."

Soon lawyers arrive to bail us out, the culprits are identified as the actual owners, the investigation is successfully concluded, the paper work is finally done, the pieces are eventually returned to their rightful owners and we walk out with the insulting words "petty theft" permanently inscribed on our records Thank goodness no one was armed.

No. It didn't happen. But it could have.


DB - Vagabond Journeys

Never give up.


1 comment:

Geo. said...

DB., delightful scenario! But I would've called the police and reported an art theft --many priceless pieces stolen! And notified the media. "There's no such thing as bad publicity."--Bela Lugosi.