Check out the contest after the journal entry.
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Though lovers be lost love shall not.
Dylan Thomas
******************
Hello Ken
******************
At one time I wrote "I have loved and lost, but I will live to love again." At the time I wrote that it didn't seem possible. But as certain as Spring someone came along and grabbed my heart. Since then I've been wary of proclaiming to myself any tautologies of my, or anyone else's, susceptibility to the untreatable madness we call "love."
Most of my history of love affairs has been about loss. It's a sad and heart breaking thing, but as my friend Skip says "It sure gets your emotions flexed." and is that a bad thing after all?
When we lose the perfect soul mate, the perfect life partner, the perfect man or woman, the one to make our lives complete, we are sure another such a one will never come along again. Until the next time. What I have discovered in my rough and tumble romantic history is that, just as Thomas says, the propensity, the desire, the affection, the need, the self sacrifice, the idolatry are never lost. They abide in us, silently and patiently, waiting for the door to open to express themselves in whatever way our imagination and circumstances provide.
Strange things happen. You may meet someone you find not attractive, not your "type," only to find yourself in love with that person six months later. It happened a year later for me. She was sitting next to me at a party. I thought she was interesting but not my type. A year later at another party she was again sitting next to me and I saw a different quality to her. We had lunch. Then she invited me over for dinner. I stayed. That was a six year relationship which ended only when she met another guy more to her liking. C'est l'amour.
Sometimes it's not another person but a group of people, a family, an organization, a cause, a job, all of which can be lost, and the pain may be awful, but it just proves that the love still exists in the heart and it needs to find another way to manifest itself.
Love comes because it's always there. You don't need to wear your heart on your sleeve (or leave it outside on a plate, as I am guilty of doing sometimes). I think the answer is to appreciate that the sensitivity, the affection, the passion and the adventure are all a permanent part of your being and, yes, love yourself for them and be ready to share them when the arrow flies. To be in love, to be ready to love, to be eager for love, one is never more alive.
Dana Bate - Vagabond Journeys
Never Give Up
***************************
CONTEST Here's a contest for you. How hot is it? When I first ran this contest the winner was a school teacher who wrote: "It's so hot my hot flashes cool me off." Now it's your turn. How hot is it? It's so hot my toaster pops up before I push it down. (DB) Its so hot we are using our dog's panting as an extra fan (SH) it's so hot that sweat runs uphill. (BK) It's so hot....the microwave popcorn packets are popping in the cupboard (LS) It's so hot I saw two trees fighting over a dog. It's so hot here in Texas that people have been deliberately committing crimes so they can go to hell and cool off. (JV)
It's so hot.... Good luck, prizes will be awarded, the decision of the certifiably mad judge is final. DB ************************
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
On Wisdom
Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?
T S Eliot
(Thank you Jim)
******************
Hello George
*****************
Lately I have been concerned with some topics that often make me crawl a little bit, or a lot. The main heading on the banner that flaps above my head is the word "importance." What is important and what is not and how do we know which is which.
I look around my home and I see stacks of books, too many books. I bought the books because I considered them important. They are books about things that I consider important, or used to. I think back over the years and realize I have spent many hours in obligatory reading, too many hours. Now I have a stack of books I will donate to the library, not because they aren't important but because I will never get to them. There are some books that will never leave me until the moment I step out of the dark forest.
Then there is the time wasted doing nothing. I don't mean recreation and relaxation, sports, dinner parties, having drinks and laughs with the boys. I mean hours spent shamelessly doing nothing, Maybe years.
The really terrible part of those wastes is the heart breaking sense of loss one eventually feels. Opportunities we didn't take advantage of, mistakes we made that were never corrected, people we should have remembered but forgot about, can grip us like a biting, relentless winter wind until we know how to get past them.
What do you do when all your obligations are no more? Maybe your life was filled with a lot of happiness and so you have some great memories. It is tempting to sit and contemplate the good old days. But to me that's as bad as obligatory reading, not bad to dip into now and then but not to spend the years of one's life in the past. Memories are good if they are good ones, but they are of the past, not of the present or the future. And there are still a lot more good memories to make.
You may have accumulated a lot of knowledge along the way, but you are never too young to ask yourself how much wisdom you have really won for yourself. To know things is good, to understand them is even better, but to really see how all things fit in the overall cosmic scheme of things, to have a universal awareness, to be enlightened, is best. Every step in that direction is a joyful one. a vital one.
True wisdom is far above information and knowledge. I have a lot of information, some knowledge, a spoonful of wisdom, but I am humbled in the realization of what it is possible for me to experience. I am in a dark forest of ignorance and fear, but I know the light is there and once I step into it information, knowledge, ignorance and fear will disappear, leaving the clear, still waters of wisdom as my preparation for enlightenment.
Dana Bate - Vagabond Journeys
Never Give Up
***************************
T S Eliot
(Thank you Jim)
******************
Hello George
*****************
Lately I have been concerned with some topics that often make me crawl a little bit, or a lot. The main heading on the banner that flaps above my head is the word "importance." What is important and what is not and how do we know which is which.
I look around my home and I see stacks of books, too many books. I bought the books because I considered them important. They are books about things that I consider important, or used to. I think back over the years and realize I have spent many hours in obligatory reading, too many hours. Now I have a stack of books I will donate to the library, not because they aren't important but because I will never get to them. There are some books that will never leave me until the moment I step out of the dark forest.
Then there is the time wasted doing nothing. I don't mean recreation and relaxation, sports, dinner parties, having drinks and laughs with the boys. I mean hours spent shamelessly doing nothing, Maybe years.
The really terrible part of those wastes is the heart breaking sense of loss one eventually feels. Opportunities we didn't take advantage of, mistakes we made that were never corrected, people we should have remembered but forgot about, can grip us like a biting, relentless winter wind until we know how to get past them.
What do you do when all your obligations are no more? Maybe your life was filled with a lot of happiness and so you have some great memories. It is tempting to sit and contemplate the good old days. But to me that's as bad as obligatory reading, not bad to dip into now and then but not to spend the years of one's life in the past. Memories are good if they are good ones, but they are of the past, not of the present or the future. And there are still a lot more good memories to make.
You may have accumulated a lot of knowledge along the way, but you are never too young to ask yourself how much wisdom you have really won for yourself. To know things is good, to understand them is even better, but to really see how all things fit in the overall cosmic scheme of things, to have a universal awareness, to be enlightened, is best. Every step in that direction is a joyful one. a vital one.
True wisdom is far above information and knowledge. I have a lot of information, some knowledge, a spoonful of wisdom, but I am humbled in the realization of what it is possible for me to experience. I am in a dark forest of ignorance and fear, but I know the light is there and once I step into it information, knowledge, ignorance and fear will disappear, leaving the clear, still waters of wisdom as my preparation for enlightenment.
Dana Bate - Vagabond Journeys
Never Give Up
***************************
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
George's View
It's hard not to like somebody who sees something in you that nobody else has seen.
Sally Kellerman
**********************
Hello Kate
***********************
Do you ever get fed up with yourself? Do you ever get to the point where you are sick and tired of who you are and you don't mind if you know it? Did you ever wonder where this lump of neurotic behavior, inconsistency, irrationality , unpredictability and unorthodox foolery came from?
It's a good thing to remind ourselves every now and then that we aren't the magnetic, charismatic, invincible genius we think we are. But too much of that is a negative activity and I don't offer it as an everyday occurrence. It is not a chapter in my book "How To Win and Influence Yourself." However, a little bit of respectable humility goes a long way in this world of self-satisfied lumps of ego.
On the other hand, and more to the point of being influenced by yourself, it is always a pleasure and a necessity to be seen as better than you think you are, to have hidden virtues and qualities exposed by an outside observer and to be reminded that you are who you are and not who you used to be.
Going through the boxes here is a sad experience because I'm being reminded of who I used to be. There are reminders of people I used to know whom I will never see again, places I once worked that I will never visit again and roles I once played I will never play again. Looking at these things gives me an uncomfortable sense of loss.
But even if I had the money it would be a monstrous act of futility and foolishness to go around looking up all the people I once knew and liked and visiting all the places I once spent some time in.
I have some good friends who have been my friends for many years. We are friends because we share similar ways of looking at life and the world. In the search for truth and value we friends have found each other.
We have grown but not changed that much. And whenever a friend of mine is feeling fed up with himself I can remind him of all the good qualities that make him who he is. And when I am sick and tired of myself there will be a friend who will remind me of who I am and the values and goodness in me that I'm not looking at, a friend who will rescue me from the pit of self-disliking that I dug and jumped into..
Such a friend is George Millenbach who yesterday cut into his bedtime to talk to me as I am and not as the miserable wretch I thought I was when we began the conversation. Thank you George.
One of the best things we can do for our friends is to remind them of the sturdy statuesque and colorful herb garden qualities they have and why we love them. and allow them to do the same.
I'm not a WAS. I'm an IS.
DB - Vagabond Journeys
Never Give Up
***************************
Sally Kellerman
**********************
Hello Kate
***********************
Do you ever get fed up with yourself? Do you ever get to the point where you are sick and tired of who you are and you don't mind if you know it? Did you ever wonder where this lump of neurotic behavior, inconsistency, irrationality , unpredictability and unorthodox foolery came from?
It's a good thing to remind ourselves every now and then that we aren't the magnetic, charismatic, invincible genius we think we are. But too much of that is a negative activity and I don't offer it as an everyday occurrence. It is not a chapter in my book "How To Win and Influence Yourself." However, a little bit of respectable humility goes a long way in this world of self-satisfied lumps of ego.
On the other hand, and more to the point of being influenced by yourself, it is always a pleasure and a necessity to be seen as better than you think you are, to have hidden virtues and qualities exposed by an outside observer and to be reminded that you are who you are and not who you used to be.
Going through the boxes here is a sad experience because I'm being reminded of who I used to be. There are reminders of people I used to know whom I will never see again, places I once worked that I will never visit again and roles I once played I will never play again. Looking at these things gives me an uncomfortable sense of loss.
But even if I had the money it would be a monstrous act of futility and foolishness to go around looking up all the people I once knew and liked and visiting all the places I once spent some time in.
I have some good friends who have been my friends for many years. We are friends because we share similar ways of looking at life and the world. In the search for truth and value we friends have found each other.
We have grown but not changed that much. And whenever a friend of mine is feeling fed up with himself I can remind him of all the good qualities that make him who he is. And when I am sick and tired of myself there will be a friend who will remind me of who I am and the values and goodness in me that I'm not looking at, a friend who will rescue me from the pit of self-disliking that I dug and jumped into..
Such a friend is George Millenbach who yesterday cut into his bedtime to talk to me as I am and not as the miserable wretch I thought I was when we began the conversation. Thank you George.
One of the best things we can do for our friends is to remind them of the sturdy statuesque and colorful herb garden qualities they have and why we love them. and allow them to do the same.
I'm not a WAS. I'm an IS.
DB - Vagabond Journeys
Never Give Up
***************************
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Lost And Found
It is vital that people count their blessings to appreciate what they possess without having to go through its actual loss.
Abraham Maslow
***********************
As the decades roll by I certainly rue the loss of some of the things, people, places and experiences I once knew. Some of the things I lost were things I had to leave behind due to my vagabond life. Others were things I let go of foolishly. People sometimes discard other people as if they were worn out bedroom slippers. I wish I hadn't been so discarded, but it was someone's choice and I have come to live with it graciously. Today I am realizing there are things I can let go of. There are books I used to feel so attached to I never wanted to be away from but that now don't interest me much any more. There was music that I thought was vital to my life which I have since outgrown. I feel comfortable about letting things go and settling for the things I really cherish. Most of those things have been with me all my life. Some of them are tangibles, like my Shakespeare, and some are intangibles, like faith, hope, forward thinking, the knowledge that there are things out there that really exist but that I haven't discovered yet.
Then there are the people. I have discarded a few in my time. Those were mostly people who began to express qualities that I found unacceptable to my heart. In a few cases I went away because someone wanted me to go away. But I have been the old bedroom slipper to others, many times. I just accept that now. It's heartbreaking, but as Gertrude Stein wrote "Before the fires of friendship died, friendship died." That's what makes it so difficult.
But then I think about the friends I have now. There aren't very many but almost all of them are people I have known for many years, in some cases many decades, and they are still there. Isn't that a remarkable thing?
DB
***************
Weekend Survey
There is a big birthday party for Janice and her friends and family.
A lot of people have come to it. The list includes Alice, Bob, Cathy and Charlie, Donna, Eugene, George and Janet, Lucinda, Mark, Nancy, Olivia, Rose, Ruth and Sam, Terry and good old Will.
Many of them have brought gifts.
1. A small package wrapped in white with a silver bow, Looks like it might have come from a jewelry store.
2. A medium sized rectangular box, wrapped in blue with a red ribbon, might be a book.
3. A large flat package in simple brown wrapping with a strings tied around it and a card stuck under the string. Some important documents maybe.
4 A large box wrapped in a many colored paper with a flower design on it. I wonder what that is.
5. Another rectangular box, thicker than the other one, beautifully wrapped in a gold paper with a black ribbon finished off in a perfect bow. Another book? Or a few books?
6. Hard to hide the plant sitting on the floor with green paper wrapped around it and some circular object at the base with a green plastic thing peeking out.
7. A larger rectangular box, fairly thick and light, looks like it might be clothes.
8 A square box in a striped blue and yellow paper wrapping, on top is a pretty red bow.
9. One very large box, apart from the rest, big enough to hold any number of electronic things. It's wrapped in Muslin.
10. A medium sized circular package, inside a bag, with a store name on it, which has been taped shut.
11. Another very large package, not in a box, but completely covered over with a wrapper left over from Christmas. A card is taped to the side of it.
Your assignment is to decide, in your opinion, which package Janet should open up first. Please leave the number of your choice on my email dbdacoba@aol.com
Thank you
DB
Abraham Maslow
***********************
As the decades roll by I certainly rue the loss of some of the things, people, places and experiences I once knew. Some of the things I lost were things I had to leave behind due to my vagabond life. Others were things I let go of foolishly. People sometimes discard other people as if they were worn out bedroom slippers. I wish I hadn't been so discarded, but it was someone's choice and I have come to live with it graciously. Today I am realizing there are things I can let go of. There are books I used to feel so attached to I never wanted to be away from but that now don't interest me much any more. There was music that I thought was vital to my life which I have since outgrown. I feel comfortable about letting things go and settling for the things I really cherish. Most of those things have been with me all my life. Some of them are tangibles, like my Shakespeare, and some are intangibles, like faith, hope, forward thinking, the knowledge that there are things out there that really exist but that I haven't discovered yet.
Then there are the people. I have discarded a few in my time. Those were mostly people who began to express qualities that I found unacceptable to my heart. In a few cases I went away because someone wanted me to go away. But I have been the old bedroom slipper to others, many times. I just accept that now. It's heartbreaking, but as Gertrude Stein wrote "Before the fires of friendship died, friendship died." That's what makes it so difficult.
But then I think about the friends I have now. There aren't very many but almost all of them are people I have known for many years, in some cases many decades, and they are still there. Isn't that a remarkable thing?
DB
***************
Weekend Survey
There is a big birthday party for Janice and her friends and family.
A lot of people have come to it. The list includes Alice, Bob, Cathy and Charlie, Donna, Eugene, George and Janet, Lucinda, Mark, Nancy, Olivia, Rose, Ruth and Sam, Terry and good old Will.
Many of them have brought gifts.
1. A small package wrapped in white with a silver bow, Looks like it might have come from a jewelry store.
2. A medium sized rectangular box, wrapped in blue with a red ribbon, might be a book.
3. A large flat package in simple brown wrapping with a strings tied around it and a card stuck under the string. Some important documents maybe.
4 A large box wrapped in a many colored paper with a flower design on it. I wonder what that is.
5. Another rectangular box, thicker than the other one, beautifully wrapped in a gold paper with a black ribbon finished off in a perfect bow. Another book? Or a few books?
6. Hard to hide the plant sitting on the floor with green paper wrapped around it and some circular object at the base with a green plastic thing peeking out.
7. A larger rectangular box, fairly thick and light, looks like it might be clothes.
8 A square box in a striped blue and yellow paper wrapping, on top is a pretty red bow.
9. One very large box, apart from the rest, big enough to hold any number of electronic things. It's wrapped in Muslin.
10. A medium sized circular package, inside a bag, with a store name on it, which has been taped shut.
11. Another very large package, not in a box, but completely covered over with a wrapper left over from Christmas. A card is taped to the side of it.
Your assignment is to decide, in your opinion, which package Janet should open up first. Please leave the number of your choice on my email dbdacoba@aol.com
Thank you
DB
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