Walking Solo

Anything you fully do is an alone journey.


Natalie Goldberg
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Hello Sandy
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I recently read an article written by a man who had found his marriage falling apart and what he did to save it. He and his wife had two grown children and a comfortable life. But it seemed to them that the romance and adventure were gone out of their relationship, they were bored with each other and felt divorce was imminent and unavoidable.

He began to think about what he wanted in a marriage. He thought about companionship, sharing of interests and ideas, respect, compassion, moral and emotional support, a sense of adventure, affection, comfort, admiration, love. He determined that he possessed many of those qualities himself and didn't need to go looking for them in someone else. He further determined that since he had those qualities he could express them. He then saw himself as a man who would make a good husband for some lucky woman.

He made a list of the qualities and abilities he thought were the best about himself and began trying to express them at work and at home with his own and soon to be divorced wife.

Unknown to him his wife was also making a list of her own. She reasoned that after the divorce she would probably be looking for another love affair and maybe a marriage. So she began to describe to herself what kind of a man she would be most attracted to, what qualities he should possess and how he would behave toward her.

They were both on their individual, alone journeys, but the wife began to realize that the man she had been describing to herself as the ideal husband was more than adequately realized in the husband she had. and because he was trying out the good qualities he found in himself on a trial basis at home, his wife began responding to them. Voila. A new love affair. No divorce.

It became a sharing of him with her and of her with him. That's a big secret. The pursuit of happiness is an alone journey. It may include other people, but happiness doesn't come from them it comes from us. And we can share it.

One never knows what the future may hold but this Vagabond Journey of mine is an alone one. There is no one else involved except an a once-in-a-while basis. But I have qualities, abilities and talents tht put a smile on my face whenever I think of them. And that's good enough for me..

Dana Bate - The Vagabond
No. 1,898
Never Give Up
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Love Is

Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.

Michael Leunig
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Hello Rose
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Anxiety is a worm that nibbles at your mind.
Depression is a dark, airless room that puts your mind in a fitful sleep.
Suspicion is a mad magician that twists your thoughts.
Rage is a hot, bright light that blinds your mind.
Hatred is a tunnel where your thoughts get lost.
Scorn is mud your mind has slipped in.
Lust is a whirlpool your mind is trapped in.
Fear is a fire that burns your thoughts.
Dishonesty is a betrayal of your mind.
Cruelty is a spider that weaves in your mind.
Laziness is a strong wind blowing your thoughts around.
Pretense is a mask hiding your true mind.
Jealousy is a bear that eats your mind.
Ignorance is grinder that make a mess of your thoughts.
Regret is a vice that squeezes your mind.


Love is medicine for a troubled mind.
Love is the sunshine that enlightens your thoughts.
Love is the enjoyment of companionship.
Love is appreciation for someone's individuality.
Love is the focus of good healing thoughts.
Love is sharing an adventurous time.
Love is making things come out right.
Love is being around when you're needed.
Love is making sure that someone is comfortable.
Love is helping to share other's burdens.
Love is being gentle with those who suffer.
Love is apologizing or forgiving when wrongs are done.
Love is looking for beauty in others and finding it.
Love is the expectation of goodness.
Love is happiness expressed.

Dana Bate - Vagabond Journeys
Never Give Up
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Avoid The Swamp

Summon the power of your happiness.

Unknown
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It is an amazing and quietly miraculous thing to realize that just under the surface of all our grief and sorrow are the thoughts and memories of things that make us happy. There is a fist of determination that can pull the plug on the sink full of nasty things if we choose to use it.

Joy is a powerful thing. It can change the way we think and since most of life's troubles come from the way we think joy can make anguish tremble in fright. A certain Jewish mystic and Kabbalist scholar once described the mind as like a radio that only had two stations, one broadcast only good news and the other only bad news. If we don't keep alert the radio will automatically switch over to the bad news station. We have to keep our hands on the knob to keep it playing the news we want and need to hear. If I let my mind wander it will soon take me into bug filled swamps of ugly thoughts and memories. I have thankfully adopted a good angel who puts up with my negatives long enough and then says, with benign scorn, "What are you thinking about?" That stops me and makes me laugh.

It's truly a matter of consciousness. A constant consciousness of good makes a better life, and consciousness is the result of disciplined and habitual thinking. That's why we have to stay close to that radio.

I'm not a great Biblical scholar but if you want a Bible reference here it is:

"whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

And stay out of the mental swamps.

DB - The Vagabond
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SUMMER QUESTION
(This is not a contest.)

Who are the 2 (two) most important people alive today? Why?

Only 6 responses so far.

dbdacoba@aol.com

Thank you.
DB
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I've got a little list.

Misery has enough company. Dare to be happy.

From a billboard.
(Thank you Cindy)
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Oh, I know, I know. Believe me I know. There are plenty of reasons in life to be miserable. Come visit me, I'll show you my collection.

The shameful fact is that some people actually enjoy being miserable. They are addicted to it. If they don't have a good reason to moan and groan and be unhappy they will go out and find one and if their search is fruitless they will come back home and invent one.

If there are no raw materials around your house to patch together a good misery you can always turn on the news and see how much better other people are at being miserable, so you'll have something to copy.

Are you the kind of person who likes to make lists? Well, there you go. Sit down now and start making a list of the reasons you have to feel sorry for yourself. You can start with "I don't have enough money." That's a good one and very popular. Which reminds me, if you run out of ideas to put on the list, check the daily paper. It will give you some great suggestions.

Now how long is your list? 20 items? That's not enough. You can do better than that. Go back and try harder.

Now repeat after me "Oh, woe is me !! Alas ! I'm so miserable I don't know what I'm going to do."

Good. I'm glad that's over. Now about happiness: Does it take courage to be happy? You bet. It takes strength, patience, determination, hope, faith. It takes not giving up. It takes knowing there is a solution to problems, an answer to dilemmas, the understanding that things can change, things can BE changed. Things are fixable, disposable, renewable and improvable.

Don't compare yourself with people who are less fortunate than you are. That's frightening. Don't compare yourself with people whoa re better off than you are. That's depressing. In fact, don't compare yourself with anybody. "Comparisons are odorous" (sic) as Shakespeare said.

Go back to that list of miseries you so carefully made up, choose one item and cure it. Now you're one step closer to happiness. Eventually you will chase all the phantoms of misery out the back door (they don't deserve the front door.) Happiness isn't the end of trouble. It's the end of misery.

Now say "Thank you Mr. Vagabond. I feel a little happier."

DB
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WINTER QUESTION
(This is not a contest.)

Given the resources and opportunity, what one thing do you want to do in 2010 that you've never done before.

You have all Winter to answer. Answers will be posted on the first day of Spring.
10 responses so far.

DB - The Vagabond

Zeal Zone 7/18/09

Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness.

Zhuangzi
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Enter please.
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A note about yesterday's entry. I do not figure a readership by how many comments I get but by how many times my journal is actually clicked on, whether it's read or not. I appreciate each and every comment. I don't write for the comments or for myself. I'm not used to that. A performing artist doesn't work for himself alone. The success of a play is judged by how many people come to see it. At the Charles Playhouse in Boston we performed a matinee for one person on a terribly rainy day. At the Tribeca Lab in NYC we performed for one person who left at intermission. I will write for one person if necessary, but I am currently disappointed at the size of the audience, That's all.
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I strive for happiness.

I strive for the end of striving.

I strive for the end of trouble.
I strive for the end of recent trouble on top of chronic trouble on top of 70 years of trouble.

I strive for solvency.
I strive to know how much my debts are and where the money is coming from to pay for them.

I strive for health.
I strive to be able to see well enough to read again, to chew again and to walk without pain again, to clear my chest and stop coughing.

I strive for a home.
I strive for a comfortable place to live, with nice things around me, friends nearby and an interesting neighborhood.

I strive to know.
I strive for knowledge, for understanding and for wisdom.

I strive for approval.
I strive to be acknowledged, understood and accepted.

I strive for love.
I strive to love, to be loved and to be lovable.

I strive for power.
I strive for strength to meet the day, largeness of heart and clearness of mind.

I strive for faith.
I strive for belief in myself, in certainty about my future and for confidence in my destiny.

I strive for freedom.
I strive to be allowed to live out my life unencumbered and untethered to trouble, lack or confusion.

I strive for enlightenment.
I strive to reveal mysteries, to see beyond limits, to uncover truth.

I strive for the end of striving.

I strive for happiness.

DB
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May an angel appear at your window.
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WEEKEND PUZZLE

it's weel uf 4 toon

It's a song title. Ask me for letters.

_ _ _ _ _ / _ _ _ / _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ /

_ _ _ _ _ _ / _ _ / _ _ _ _ /

_ _ _ _ _ _ / _ _ / _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ / _ _ _ _ _ ?

Good luck.