Friday, October 5, 2012

Walking Solo

Anything you fully do is an alone journey.

Natalie Goldberg
Hello Sandy
I recently read an article written by a man who had found his marriage falling apart and what he did to save it. He and his wife had two grown children and a comfortable life. But it seemed to them that the romance and adventure were gone out of their relationship, they were bored with each other and felt divorce was imminent and unavoidable.

He began to think about what he wanted in a marriage. He thought about companionship, sharing of interests and ideas, respect, compassion, moral and emotional support, a sense of adventure, affection, comfort, admiration, love. He determined that he possessed many of those qualities himself and didn't need to go looking for them in someone else. He further determined that since he had those qualities he could express them. He then saw himself as a man who would make a good husband for some lucky woman.

He made a list of the qualities and abilities he thought were the best about himself and began trying to express them at work and at home with his own and soon to be divorced wife.

Unknown to him his wife was also making a list of her own. She reasoned that after the divorce she would probably be looking for another love affair and maybe a marriage. So she began to describe to herself what kind of a man she would be most attracted to, what qualities he should possess and how he would behave toward her.

They were both on their individual, alone journeys, but the wife began to realize that the man she had been describing to herself as the ideal husband was more than adequately realized in the husband she had. and because he was trying out the good qualities he found in himself on a trial basis at home, his wife began responding to them. Voila. A new love affair. No divorce.

It became a sharing of him with her and of her with him. That's a big secret. The pursuit of happiness is an alone journey. It may include other people, but happiness doesn't come from them it comes from us. And we can share it.

One never knows what the future may hold but this Vagabond Journey of mine is an alone one. There is no one else involved except an a once-in-a-while basis. But I have qualities, abilities and talents tht put a smile on my face whenever I think of them. And that's good enough for me..

Dana Bate - The Vagabond
No. 1,898
Never Give Up


Arlene (AJ) said...

A very moving site today DB. Touched my heart in many ways dear.

Ken Riches said...

Happiness can only come from within!