Only by putting an end to delusions can we get rid of the dust.
In my young man days, as soon as I reached drinking age I went at it with "gusto" as the old TV commercial used to say. I enjoyed drinking beer with my buddies. I loved my beer, especially during Summer Theatre. We would get out of work at about eleven and have two hours before the bar closed. We'd get there and everyone would order a pitcher. A mug of beer cost a quarter, a pitcher was a dollar. Can you believe that? Well, it was in the 60's on Cape Cod. I could easily down two pitchers before closing time.
I could drink buckets of beer. I never passed out or got uncontrollably drunk. I would just climb into a state of advanced alcoholic jollity.
Along the way I learned an important lesson and finally made a vow to myself. The vow was: "Never do anything you decide to do when you've been drinking." I've kept that vow all my life and it has saved me a lot of trouble.
Now, in my senior years I hardly ever do any drinking. They have closed the local bar to build condominiums, which of course they aren't doing. The nearest liquor store is impassibly far away even if I could afford something harder, which I can't. So today my liquor of opportunity and choice is coffee. I love my coffee and it doesn't keep me awake.
So now I have another vow I have made for myself. "Never plan to do anything you decide to do when first waking up." In that semi-somnambulate state between half awake and half asleep my mind conceives of the most grandiose plans for where I'm going to go and what I am going to do. I can map out an exciting and adventurous future for myself starting as soon as I get out of bed. But it doesn't take long after I stagger to the stove to start the kettle, stagger to the bathroom and back and sit down with my first mug of coffee to realize that the great heroic act is not going to happen.
So I waste no more time on it. I vow not only not to plan it but also not to think about it. I put it right out of my head, and then, in a soberly manner, I begin with the business of the day.
DB - The Vagabond