Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Terse Truth 12/03/08

What we need is to love without getting tired.

Mother Teresa

Even if you don't like them much, your relatives are always your relatives, family is always family, no matter what. But it's not the same with friends. They come along, but they can also go. Sometimes they just die. Sometimes they move away and you lose contact. I was talking with someone this afternoon who remarked that she feels she lost a bunch of friends when we moved from "the A word" over here to Google Land and I think that's true. "What ever happened to so and so? Where did she go?" If we didn't grab or send an email address in time a friendship is lost.

Also, it is more difficult to keep in touch with people over here with this cumbersome Google system. Soon I will put all the blogs I want to read on my favorites list as I did in "the other place."

But there are other ways to lose a friend. Sometimes one of them will marry or otherwise settle down with someone who doesn't like you. That's happened to me twice. You try to keep up a friendship, but it's torn.

Then there are those who are the unfortunate receivers of lies and gossip about you. Malicious people who have nothing better to do than to fabricate false information about you out of jealousy or some other sub-human motive, can destroy a friendship. That has happened to me three times.

What can be said for the friend who suddenly turns unfriendly and becomes malignant. That also happened to me in a very heartbreaking manner. Suddenly, for no stated reason, a friend of many years wasn't a friend any more.

Then there are those who simply disappear. Where is my friend George C.? We were sending emails back and forth and then mine began the DAEMON route. I don't know what happened to him. I don't know if he's dead, in jail, changed his name, won the lottery and moved to Portugal, or what. George, my dear friend, where are you?

One day I started to make a list of all the people I used to know and like that I don't know anymore. It was a very long where-are-you list. In fact it was so long I had to stop. There are too many of them. It made me sad.

Some friends are closer and more important to you than others but my advice is love all of your friends as much as you can because you never know when you might lose one.



Linda's World said...

Good entry DB. And so true. I lost a best friend once when she ran off with my husband. I don't think that friendship can ever be put back together. Life is short and we need to treasure our friendships that are healthy & kind. Linda in Washington state

a corgi said...

good insightful entry, DB; I know I stop and think and wonder what happened to this friend from high school or this friend from where we used to live; and its sad because you "swear" you will always keep in touch and then life gets in the way and you don't keep in touch. so important to value each and everyone of our friends and appreciate them and keep them dear and near to our hearts the best way we can

if you are looking for someone specifically from the previous journals and might wonder where they went, email me, I might be able to help you


Arlene (AJ) said...

A very touching read DB. I've been blessed to have only lost one friends my whole life and hold all those that have touched my life and heart forever in a special place, I've been one lucky lady. The one I lost was making comments about another friend who was dying from cancer, but the one who made the comments didn't know LJ was so sick as she asked me not to say anything to anyone until she was ready to tell them....I just couldn't take Phyllis making comments about LJ and let her know that I'd appreciate her stopping with the insults. Well Phyllis didn't like my words to her and our friendship ended....a real friend in my mind wouldn't have been so negative about another of our shared friends if she was truly a good friend...I've accepted that and have moved on. Hopefully you'll continue to meet new people who will touch your heart in friendship.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Sage advice my friend.

Joyce said...

What a wonderful entry DB. I've lost track of so many friends with all my travels. My mother was so impressive to me. She still had friends from grade school when she passed. I had calls to make all over the world. You made me think about some of my old friends. Think I do some searching.
Hugs, Joyce

Breezy said...

Great entry!! I am a very sensitive person and have lost friends because I let my feelings get hurt so easily. I have learned not to take things so personally and be more forgiving. I do miss many of my friends, but if I can have a handful of dear trusted friends I count myself lucky and try not to take them for granted.