Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Fret Not

Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.

Wayne Bennet
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One evening I was standing on a street corner in New York waiting for a bus. Near me was a car. There was a young couple packing things inside it to take a trip. Helping them was the girl's father. He was very concerned and nervous about getting things inside the car in the proper order but generally getting in the way. Finally the girl said "Chill out, Dad" and he did. He stepped aside and let them do it themselves. I was impressed.

I could never have said something like that to my mother. It wouldn't have worked. She was a worrier. If there was a sporting event known as "Worrying" my mother would have been an Olympic gold medal winner.

If my brother said he would be home around 6, at 6:05 she would begin to worry. At 6:10 she would be pacing the floor with a terrified look in her eye. No attempt at assuaging her fear would work. At 6:15 she would announce that something terrible has happened and at any moment we would be getting a call from the police or the hospital. At 6:20, when he arrived, she would heave a big sigh of relief. At 6:25 she will have forgotten the whole drama. I finally saw that for her worrying was like wearing tight shoes. It felt so good to stop.

As i grew I began to take on some of the aspects of my worrying mother. But I turned it into anger. Not anger against anyone who might be causing me to worry. But anger at myself for falling into the same manic merry-go-round.

Worry is more than a waste of time. It's also the provider of a lot of negative energy. As it says in yesterday's Vagabondism "Things take as long as they take, and it doesn't matter if you punish yourself with frustration or not."

Worry can also be destructive. There's the story about the boy who planted a seed and kept digging it up to se if it was growing. It eventually died.

The worst thing about worry is that it's fear, tucked into and carried around in an imaginary bundle. The greater the worry the stronger the mentality that carries it and a strong mind has power to make things be.
"For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me." it says in Job. The fretting mind is a mind for making self-created trouble.

Fret not.
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DB - Vagabond Journeys
Never give up.
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SUMMER QUESTION

It's a long, hot, sticky summer, so here's a hot, sticky question for you. Don't let the recent New York State decision rob you of your thunder.

Same sex marriage. Should it be legal or not? If so, why? If not, why not?

dbdacoba@aol.com

13 answers so far.

You have until the last day of summer, but don't dally.
I eagerly await your answer.

DB
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5 comments:

Jon said...

As a chronic worrier my entire life, I can attest to the fact that worrying generates negative energy and is a waste of time. Thanks for putting it all into such insightful perspective!

pacifica62 said...

I love this entry db. I, too, am a worrier and half the time I worry about nothing. Does me no good, a waste of time and energy. "The worst thing about worry is that it's fear, tucked into and carried around in an imaginary bundle". Exactly and that statement says it all.

Arlene (AJ) said...

Reading your blog this morning was like reading about my Sis Mary Ann who constantly worries if she doesn't hear from her kids pronto or if the plane is 5 minutes late in arriving. Try as we might, doubt she'll ever change. Thank goodness the rest of us go with the flow, helps keep of sane.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Never could understand the worry perspective, I deal immediately with an issue, and move on.

Beth said...

My Mom is a complete worrywart, and I have a tendency to lean that way. I do my best to think about it rationally and not focus on it. It's not easy, but I try really hard to not give into needless worry.