Friday, August 19, 2011

Liberty Up To A Point

Claiming for ourselves liberty of conscience, liberty to worship, we shall see to it that every other individual enjoys the same right.

James Larkin
Mine is the true religion. We have freedom of worship in this country so you can go on wearing your strange clothes and doing your silly rituals, even though God is not listening to you. And no, you are not welcome to build your "house of worship" or whatever you call it, in our community.
Hi, I'm Jack from the Neighborhood Association. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you're going to have to remove that American flag and the flag pole from your property. We have rules against such things.
He: "Excuse me but does this book store have any books on Judaica?"
She: "Yes. I think we have a few."
He: "Where would I find them?"
She: "In the occult section."
Buddy, you better remove that "Smith for Congress" sign or I'll remove it for you.
"He was safe. My son was safe. Why did you call him out? Change the call. No? Here's my fist in your face, maybe that will improve your eye sight.
Folks, I have a list of authors and some books that are inappropriate and offensive. I have a court order to have them removed from the town library. Meanwhile my Co-Chair is checking through the school libraries and the local book stores. If anyone of you would like to read some of these awful publications to see what I'm objecting to, they will be in my office.
This gay rights nonsense has gone too far. Those queers are everywhere. Now they even let them in the military, smearing the reputation of our good fighting men and women. Next thing you know they'll be wearing green berets. Won't that be cute. They are getting married to each other. What a laugh. Homosexuality is a sin. It goes against the Bible, the Constitution and everything America stands for. I wouldn't let my son near one of those faggots. As a Scout leader I can assure you absolutely, there is no homosexuality in the Boy Scouts.
We certainly don't want Smith representing us in the legislature. So I suggest a recount, and during it we can make some minor adjustment in the results so this voter mistake won't affect anything.
Why did you bother rechecking those figures? It doesn't matter if they're not 100% accurate. Send them through anyway. You're wasting the company's time.
"The Doctor amputated that patients leg."
"What was wrong with the leg?"
"Nothing. They gave the Doc the wrong X-ray to look at."
Now children, before we start there will be no wearing of scarves in my class. Isaac take off the little beanie, and Maria put away the cross. OK class, now we can begin.
No Miss, you are not going to that civil rights demonstration. I don't care about your politics or your feelings, no daughter of mine is going to be seen with a bunch of loud, dirty, ass pinching anarchists.
DB - The Vagabond
Never give up.

Summer is moving along, people.

It's a long, hot, sticky summer, so here's a hot, sticky question for you.

Same sex marriage. Should it be legal or not? If so, why? If not, why not?

15 answers so far.

You have until the last day of summer, but don't dally.
I eagerly await your answer.



pacifica62 said...

Does this come under the heading of "only in America"??

Big Mark 243 said...

ditto pacifica..!