Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Clear Out The Foes

Loving your enemies means you must forgive them. But it does not mean that you must believe them, respect them or trust them.

Dana Bate
Hello Sue
The worst kind of enemies are those you make yourself through carelessness, selfishness and unnecessary animosity. By those enemies you need to be forgiven. But what happens when you make an enemy without being brutish to them? That usually comes about because someone expects something from you which is either too much or too little of who you really are. Or that person has simply put the blindfold on when it came to thinking clearly about you and seeing the real person you are. That form of misunderstanding can cause a lot of alienation and loss of friendship. But does it make for an enemy? It might.

But, as I turn that mirror around and gaqze at my own nature, I realize that I have enemies whom I thought were friends, because I expected too much from them. I inaccurately judged the characters of some people because I wanted them to be who I thought they were, who I thought they represented themselves to be. I can't believe, respect or trust those people, but I can forgive them for their masquerades and forgive myself for being fooled.

Then there are people who just don't like you. They probably don't know why but they will find a reason to justify their hatred. It is quite impossible to trust someone who hates you, but, though difficult, it's not impossible to forgive them for their hatred.

One must be prepared to defend oneself against one's enemies if the enmity spills over into some kind of attack, but revenge is not the intelligent defense. Forgiveness is. It doesn't even need to be expressed. It just needs to be chosen and confirmed in one's own thinking. One can go through thinking about all the things one should have said or done but the fact that they weren't said or done allows for peace.

It's hard to forgave you enemies. Life is hard. But it can be lived more easily without having enemies occupy space in your mind.

DB - Vagabond Journeys
Never give up.


Geo. said...

I like the idea of forgiving one's enemies, unostentatiously, in the privacy of one's own thoughts. It doesn't correct the past so much as repair the future.

Beth said...

A pertinent and timely entry for Ken and I. Details to follow. I'm not feeling a lot of forgiveness in my heart at the moment, because actions taken were deliberate and nefarious choices. However, as the old saying goes, a life lived well is the best revenge, and that certainly applies in our case! I think it applies in your case, too!

Arlene (AJ) said...

You have to allow yourself to forgive to move forward and be able to allow yourself to enjoy another day. Know I had to do this when the drunk driving doctor caused the deaths of my Sis and young nephew....I will never forget what he did, but had to allow myself to forgive him so I could move forward.

Ken Riches said...

I can be pretty easy going, but once you cross me or make my sh*t list, there is little chance of climbing back.