Friday, April 17, 2009

Men's Means 4/17/09

I am an abyss that I am trying to cross.

S. Merwin

Strolling down a sidewalk, or along a garden path or on a trail in a forest, reasoning through a difficult problem, calming a distraught emotion, nursing illness back to health, and transcending a mortal illusion; in each of those activities we are treading a passageway in the universe.

In my last entry, Anne, of commented that "when one door opens, another closes, but it's the hallways that are a bitch?" I agree. Indeed, life often seems to be nothing but hallways, corridors from one experience, one explanation to another. You get to the door and think you've made it. But when you open the door, there's another passageway to another door. And some corridors are so long you can't even see the door at the end.

But what about opening a familiar door onto a hallway you've been down before. It's very confusing to think that you're just going around in circles. Or what happens when you open the door onto a blank wall and you realize you have to go back, start over and find a different hallway. It's very depressing. What could be worse?

One thing; when you at last reach the door and you open it you find nothing there, no hallway, no door, nothing in front of you, nothing above or below you or on either side: nothingness, emptiness, void. There is nowhere to go, nothing to do, nothing to be. No meaning. The journey is over.

If we step out into it we are in the abyss, the abyss is in us, We are the abyss. Who has the courage and faith to step out into it? It's a place where the senses don't apply, where reality is invisible, where there are no landmarks of human life, as we know it. It's a place where every question is its own answer. It's where uncertainty is the only certainty, where there is no time to do anything and no space to do it. It means nothing because it is its own meaning. It is the realm of pure mind, with no passageways, illusions, mysteries, mirages or masquerades. Ii is the land of endless, universal light.

Or maybe it is none of those things, Maybe it's an entirely different nothingness. Who has the courage and faith to cross that abyss and find out?

I don't. Not yet.

The Vagabond
Sing please. The birds do it without being asked.


Beth said...

I suppose we rarely have a choice in when we get to step into that final abyss. I think that's what scares people more than anything--the lack of control over what happens to us.


Arlene (AJ) said...

We just have to believe that when we step into that final abysss, that we can handle whatever awaits us. Il'd like to believe it beats giving up or not taking that chance, but I'm not in any hurry to test that out just yet.

Janice said...

My dear little granddaughter is always singing so I find that I sing more now too and of course, singing causes smiles.

Anonymous said...

DB, That is one whopper of a dream.

Breezy said...

This entry makes me think of this quote:

When you come to the edge of all the light you know.

And are about to set off into the darkness of the unknown.

Faith is knowing one of two things will happen.

There will be something solid to stand on.

Or you will be taught to fly.
~~ Barbara J. Winter.

I do have faith, but but it waivers and am not always able to step out every time. I am still scared of many things and although I do step out more than I used to I have a long way to go.