I ain't what I used to be, but who the hell is.
Being human is becoming or trying to become. Along the dusty, roots and rocks filled path there are many stumblings and wrong turns. And yet with the carrot of the future dangling in front of us and the whacks and jabs from the past behind us we keep going. "Thy rod and they staff they comfort me." And the question that keeps appearing like a specter at tired moments is "Is there any terminus, and end, any point to this? Is existence just one long tautology?" One might ask if there is any end to the universe, to existence or to human reason and imagination.
I personally find it comforting to think that there is no end. I am pleased to think that I am always in a state of becoming. I am not the man I was yesterday, or last year. "I ain't what I used to be." We get physical reminders of time passing. The seasons come and go, things change shape and form, things change in importance, our desires take new forms, even what we may think is our destiny alters its aspect as we grow, as we become.
"What's going to become of you?" I heard as a child. No one really ever knows the answer to that question. There are too many variables even within a strict discipline of life for anyone to be sure of what they are going to become.
Many doors you think are locked, aren't. They're just closed. Grab the handle and give it a turn. A little 4 year old girl (I've written about her "A Tale of Two Russians" Vagabond Journeys 1/27/10) is born in northern Russia and has never seen anything but the relentless whiteness of snow and ice. One night the family moves south and the little girl wakes up in the morning to see flowers for the first time in her life. Colors she never imagined. She went on to become an important artist.
We never know when the flowers will bloom in our lives or where we'll be or what we will do about it. The certain thing is that we will change, we will become. No one can avoid those moments or those changes. It's moving down the path trying to stay on the trail and to avoid the roots and rocks that is real being, and there is no point in wondering where the path leads because there is no end. It leads to your goal, then to your next goal and to some more goals after that.
Many changes seem subtle and unnoticeable but every second of our lives we are coming to a new place on the trail and becoming a new person.
DB - The Vagabond
These are not the right titles for these films.
Please Correct them.
1. Uprising by all the fruits and vegetables.
2. Skipped town with the clarinet.
3. The lizard came out after dinner was over.
4. The Raging Dozen
5. Don't be wary of a female novelist.
6 Me and the chess piece.
7. The long distance runner.
8. Ain't living just grand?
9, Vocalizing with the tempest.
10. There's a ghost backstage at the Met.
11. After this we close down the theatre.
12. Youngsters in the Amazon.