Sunday, November 28, 2010

I'm Abnormal

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.

Frank Zappa
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One of the saddest of things to me is to know of people who have been disappointed in life, who have to give up on things they had hoped for. To have one's heart and mind set on something, on some good goal, a blessing, an achievement, and have to give it up, is tragic. It happens to all of us to one degree or another.

One of the frequent reasons for its happening is that we plan to do things the way we are supposed to. We are usually too young to know ourselves sufficiently to accommodate changes and unexpected events which define us differently from the life, personality and character we have given ourselves.

The people in my family and my friends' families tried to live very doctrinaire, orthodox lives. They did the things and thought the things they were "supposed to." I didn't, and as a result I was being called "abnormal." It took me many years to get over the idea that my abnormality was a curse of some kind, that I needed to have my "head examined."

I knew a man who, while still young, was a successful artist out west. He married and came east expecting to establish himself here in his field. But he and his wife soon started having children he had to feed and clothe. So he gave up his dreams and put himself into a higher paying position in which he was also successful. I met him again years later and found that he was remorseful at not having had the life he dreamed about for himself.

I took a lesson, partly from him, partly from others I knew who were suffering the same sadness and from myself when I got enough influence from writers and other artists to accept my abnormalities and move on with life. The results I have suffered as a result have all been bearable.

I've observed from my life in theatre how easy it is for some people to fall into the trench of sameness, of doing things the way you are supposed to do them. On the other hand I've also seen to my great joy other people who have been welcome deviates, those who have eschewed the proper way of doing things and broken down confining walls in the process.

You can always tell when someone has turned his back on the norm, branched out into the world of imagination and progressed into a saner place by the imitators he gets. But those imitators have simply taken the inovations and made them the norm, "the way to do things." Thus progress is made.

Thank heaven there are always going to be people who are willing to be abnormal, to be deviates and to show the world a better way to go.

DB - The Vagabond
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AUTUMN QUESTION

(This is not a contest.)

At what event of the past do you wish you could be present? Why?

Only 8 responses so far.

dbdacoba@aol.com

Thank you.
DB
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3 comments:

pacifica62 said...

It is a sad fact of life to know that some people have to abandon or postpone the dreams that their heart held. Sometimes it is possible to plan a detour around those events, and at other times, life has to go on and the dream has to take a back seat to whatever else is going on in life. If we are in the process of producing a family, then our hopes have to be set aside in order to best meet the obligations and responsibilities that will ensue. Sometimes there is an injury, someone gets sick or dies, financial resources change. These are life changing hardships many people have to endure. I see these as being quite different from the things we think we are "supposed to do". In that sense, we are all unique individuals. What works for one might not work for or even interest someone else. It would be a very boring world if we all lined up like sheep and did all the things that were either expected of us or that we expected of ourselves. I find this more a situation where we adapt in order to survive and carry on. Who made the rule about what is normal or abnormal? I somehow don't think that there is such a thing. I think we are all people who try to decide the best pathways in life for ourselves. There is no right and wrong here, normal or abnormal. We take the knowledge and life skills that we have at the time and try to make good choices for ourselves. Whether it turns out to be the way we are "supposed" to do things is a matter of someone else's opinion.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

I find that my planning capability improves with age.

Arlene (AJ) said...

I just strive to make the most I can of each day and have peace in my heart that it was a good time...no it's not always perfect, but I can live with that. It may not be what someone else would expect in life, but works for me.