Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Getting It Wrong

Without mistakes there is no forgiving, without forgiving there is no love.

Mother Teresa
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We are all crazy. There is no doubt abut that. Next winter go out and throw a snowball into a crowd of people and it is certain to hit someone who is being irrational about something. The sanest one among us is secretly a dope. a secret most carefully hidden from himself

Whenever I do something that makes no sense, even though it seemed to be the best and most intelligent thing at the time, I wonder where my brain is, if it just took a little vacation while my back was turned. If you haven't made a mistake you haven't lived yet.

There was a man I worked for, briefly, who was a state-of-the-art paranoid ignoramus. Every time one of his workers did something wrong, no matter how small it was, he would demand to know why the person did it. If the employee said "I made a mistake," the boss would ask him why he made a mistake, as if he had done it on purpose. The boss simply had an empty place in his head where his reason was supposed to be.

I am very grateful I haven't been kicked in the shins by some supervisor over some of the dumb things I've done. I have been forgiven for things I would never perhaps forgive myself for. No, I won't cite you any examples, I don't want to think about them.

The point is I was forgiven. After a few times of being astonished by someone's forgiveness of me I turned the coin over and saw that I, myself, was learning forgiveness and that I could easily forgive other people for their mistakes. Once I discovered that secret, life got a little brighter. We all make mistakes. Why not forgive other people for theirs?

Sometimes the mistakes are big ones, people get hurt or property is destroyed. Then the act of forgiveness becomes a major effort, but the condition of not staying angry, resentful or hateful, of forgiving, is a double blessing.

But what about people who have purposely done something to hurt? I have forgiven the nasty critics. I have forgiven people who lied to me, people who lied about me and those who believed them. I have even forgiven some who were purposely malignant, hurtful and harmful to me and caused me pain and sorrow. Those people were mistaken about me.

Forgiveness isn't easy, no body ever said it was, and sometimes it seems impossible. But wherever there is animosity in your heart, there is no love.

DB - The Vagabond
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AUTUMN QUESTION

(This is not a contest.)

At what event of the past do you wish you could be present? Why?

8 responses so far.

dbdacoba@aol.com

Thank you.
DB
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5 comments:

Jon said...

I have admittedly lived a lifetime of foolish mistakes, and the most difficult thing is to learn to forgive oneself.
It also took me nearly a lifetime to forgive my violent and abusive father. I forgave him after he passed away - which was too late - but after I forgave him, all of my hate and anger completely vanished.

pacifica62 said...

I have forgiven two people in my past. One was my stupid brother in law who went through a vindictive streak and the other was the kid that murdered my nephew. I can say, in all honesty that the act of forgiving someone sets us free and the feeling can be exhilerating. One cannot move on without offering forgiveness, otherwise we are stuck in the past carrying hurt, shame or anger eating away at us like a cancer. It is a gift that we can give ourselves --- to forgive and move on free of that kind of negativity. It does not mean that we accept what others might have done to us, it just means that we choose not to be chained emotionally to any one person or persons who have done us harm.

Valerie said...

I agree with pacifica. Forgiveness is something that we give ourselves. It is for the other person, too, but more for ourselves, I think. The hardest persons I find to forgive, I pray for. It is impossible to wish harm on someone you pray for. This was beautiful and necessary, Dana. Thank you. Val xox

Bonnie Bonsai said...

Forgiveness is one of those "virtues" that requires a lot of practice. It's conscience and time consuming to keep hatred, anger,rebellion, and other negative forces that eat every micro cells of the tissue of your soul inside and out. Forgiveness makes your heart lighter. It gives you inner peace and a clear head. If we forgive someone's wrong, our wrongs will also be forgiven. If not by humankind, the one from above does for He sees our every doing.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

We are our own worst critics, if we care about what we do. As for someone lying and hurting, I may forgive, but I will not trust again for a long time.