What my tongue does not, that my heart shall say.
2:30 in the morning. There is no traffic outside. There are no sounds in the building, My housemates are either asleep or away. On the CD player is music that was recorded many years ago and is now in my collection. I make myself a cup of tea. The street lamp is lit outside my apartment. Those things are my only proof of civilization.
I feel like the only person in the universe. NASA has put me on a spacecraft to a distant planet and now I live in total isolation with but the artifacts of existence around me. I know I am alive, And that is my only proof of life.
But this is the time when I read other people's journals. I know most everyone but my European and Asian friends are asleep. And if I write a comment it will probably not be read until I'm asleep. But the friends and fellow citizens of the world that I have come to know over the Internet are the source of continuity and grace for a solitary, lonely space traveler, living by himself on his own planet.
I have learned the bitter way not to gush with excessive gratitude over things, because sometimes they disappear. But a silent thank you must go out to the people who read me and write me and who are glad to hear from me when I write to them. I could name names but I would, no doubt, leave someone out accidentally. I just think it is important from time to time to stop and reflect on the fact of invisible friendships and what they mean to one's life and to this world as it floats through space.
There's love in them there emails. And that's a fact. At 2:30 a. m. I go out on my balcony. It's cold, but i don't care. If it's a clear night I look up and see stars. I realize I am looking into the vast universe of which I am an almost invisible part. And I know I am on a planet that is part of that vastness. Nothing supports the Earth's roaming except natural laws. I also wonder what law supports me in a my vagabond life. And what supports the people who live on this floating globe except commerce, trade and the exchange of information and ideas. And what binds us is the world wide network of friendship. Sometimes that net is broken by disrespect, carelessness, cruelty, misery or loss. But like the spider I recently wrote about, the net gets repaired and life and love go on.
So to my friends of the keyboard, thank you for being there.
DB - Vagabond
A man goes out gambling one day. He goes to the first casino and pays $4 entrance fee.. While there he doubles his money and pays $4 to leave.
He goes to a second casino which charges him $4 to enter. He doubles his money and then pays another $4 to get out.
At the third casino he pays the $4 to enter. While in there he doubles his money and again pays $4 to exit.
Feeling good he enters a fourth casino, pays the $4 entry fee and doubles his money. After he pays the $4 to leave that casino he has no money left. He's broke.
How much money did he have to begin with, before he entered the first casino?