Friday, November 5, 2010

'Tis True, 'Tis True

It is best to love wisely, no doubt, but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all.

William Thackeray
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So you have a broken heart do you? Well now isn't that a shame? Welcome back to life and sanity.

If you go chomping on unknown bait you may find a hook. If you put your hand in the fire you will get burned. If you put your hand in the fire again you will get burned again. That's natural law.

I am one who has had his heart broken many times, because I refused to settle down. It takes some people a long time to learn their lessons. But the gratifying thing is that with each broken heart comes another lesson about love. One cannot lead an adventuresome life without getting stuck in the fire now and then. I advocate loving wisely, of course. But there is always a price tag an any human relationship, especially an intimate one. And some of those costs are dangerous. As Norman Mailer said "There is no such thing as safe sex."

When the costs become cost plus perhaps it's time to count them. It is truly foolish not to count them but perhaps your partner did the counting and found it too high. Broken heart coming up.

Love is diving off the pier before you know how deep the water is. It's collecting sometimes useless things. It's forgiving things you can't forget. It's tying a knot that should last forever but won't. Love is a fancy, a vision, a fondness, a dream. It's standing in the rain to catch a glimpse.

To give one's heart to anyone or anything is a risky venture but if the result is love returned than it's worth it. If the result is love lost it is also worth it because one has grown in many ways. It takes time but a broken heart is curable after all.

I once knew a young fellow who thought he was an actor. He was talentless and undisciplined. One day he said he never had to pay for love. I thought, Boy, you have got a lot to learn.

So what's the danger of falling in love again, even foolishly? The danger is you might grow wiser and more tender.

A. E. Housman put it very well.

"When I was one-and-twenty
I heard a wise man say,
‘Give crowns and pounds and guineas
But not your heart away;

Give pearls away and rubies 5
But keep your fancy free.’
But I was one-and-twenty,
No use to talk to me.

When I was one-and-twenty
I heard him say again, 10
‘The heart out of the bosom
Was never given in vain;
’Tis paid with sighs a plenty
And sold for endless rue.’
And I am two-and-twenty, 15
And oh, ’tis true, ’tis true."
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And now I am one and seventy and am still not sure what love is. Or loving wisely either.

DB - The Vagabond
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AUTUMN QUESTION

(This is not a contest.)

At what event of the past do you wish you could be present? Why?

Only 7 responses so far.

dbdacoba@aol.com

Thank you.
DB
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2 comments:

pacifica62 said...

I really like the Housman poem. A specific love can complicate some good relationships so it can be something to be avoided. To wear one's heart on their sleeve can be risky. Broken hearts do heal but they also can take a toll on our ability to trust. I think I have learned over the years to love generically and not specifically. That way, I can enjoy some of the benefits but not have to deal with a huge trauma in my life should a broken heart ensue. Perhpas the coward's way out, but works for me.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

We can only hope to truly love at least once.