Sunday, February 6, 2011

Erase The Dark

There's much to be said for challenging fate instead of ducking behind it.

Diana Trilling
It seems that many people throughout the stretch of my life have had, what they thought, were certain prophesies and projections about what is going to become of me. At each level of my years the predictions changed but all were generally negative and about dire circumstances.

It all started when I was a child and my mother, for some unknown reason, told me I would always have trouble with my teeth, So as a good obedient son I developed life long dental problems. When I got a bit older I learned to start challenging these edicts. As a so-called rebellious teenager I was told I would live to be a lonely old man with no friends. Well I'm a senior citizen who lives alone, but I'm not lonely and I have some good friends whom I trust.

Then, as I grew, some former friends told me that at my age I would start suffering heart problems, lung problems and my kidneys would do this and my mind would do that. Decades ago a neighbor held up my pack of non-filter cigarettes and said If I smoked those I would soon be dead It's inevitable. It's fate.

Well I've successfully challenged all of those prophesies. Even more insidious were the teachers who told me I wasn't able to understand certain things, that I wasn't intelligent enough. A very poor teacher at a New York City film school informed me that I didn't know anything about acting. That one was amusing since I have a collection of programs from theatres all over the eastern United States and a box full of excellent reviews.

Lately I've been told I have only ten more good years of life left and that I should be bed ridden by now. A year ago I was walking with a cane. Now I don't need it except for when there are snow banks to climb over. My expectations about myself are not unrealistic but they are real. Why haven't I crushed into a helpless lump and fulfilled my artificial destiny? What's the secret DB?

Simple. I agree to disagree. Opinions are not scientific facts. I have managed to unplug the radio that is broadcasting all the dire news about my disintegration and demise. When opinions attack me either from others or from myself I mount an immediate challenge. The challenge is in two parts: Second, affirmation and First, denial. Denial must be accompanied by affirmation or we are staying in a state of denial, and that's no good because we are making a fact out of the thing we're denying, a "graven image." Denial is like erasing the false equation from the blackboard so we can write the true one. Compassion is true, hatred is not. Forgiveness is true, revenge is not. Fulfillment is true, remorse is not. Well being is true, illness is not. Denial is easier than affirmation, we generally know what we don't want. We must be thoughtful and certain about what we do want for ourselves.

Denial and affirmation require work. It's a daily job. And it requires faith in the natural laws of human thought. Thoughts have power and nature doesn't care how they're used. We can choose to use them for dark, negative things, or we can deny those things and replace them with positive things that enlighten our lives and the world.. That's our right.

DB - The Vagabond
Weekend puzzle: STEW

change Internet provider (6)
switch from off to particle (5)
Calloway born old (7)
auto rust (6)
pan to the office (6)
crush a hotel unit (8)
vigor for each )6)
sounds like a basement type thing (6)
worn around the neck down south (8)
southern California jungle beast (8)
answer to exist (5)
drink to the king (4)
beer joint to the left end, yes (6)
bad humor afoot (4)

Enjoy your dish.


Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

I tease my mom that with all her medical history, she is to ornery to die. Agreeing to disagree is a great philosophy.

pacifica62 said...

With friends and family like that, who needs enemies? Do you have a big neon "L" stamped on your forehead to indicate "loser". Do not put any faith in this person cause he is not worth it and will be plagued all his life by one afflication or another. How bizarre. Good thing you have proven them all wrong. Perhaps some of their scorn and negative prophesies backfired on them

Valerie said...

What a fabulous post, DB. You know, I think it is not so much denial of a bad situation, but more seeing and believing in what is true -- believing more in the good of the situation than the bad of it -- looking for the hopeful in each situation. And sometimes even realizing that there IS no bad in the situation -- perhaps it IS all good. But I guess we are saying the same thing...

Your attitude is splendid! Why SHOULD we believe the worst will happen to us, when often the opposite seems like it is more likely to be true, and is evidencing itself? I think that some people often moan and whine about their lives, and pull toward the negative, choosing not to get out of their negative situations, because they think it is easier to do that than to try to change. They think their miserable states in life, the states that others have told them they are to be in, the states that they are too frightened to get out of -- are easier to stay in and more comfortable to stay in -- bc to change their life would take work! And work and change would be difficult and new and fearful, so they stay with the miserable state that they at least KNOW. Oh, what a miserable and sad state that that is!

You, DB, have always inspired me bc you have not done that. You have always used your mind to face life head on -- and even move forward! Bravo!

krissy knox :)
Sometimes I Think
let's connect on Twitter:
how about friends on FB?

krissy knox said...

Okay, DB, that last comment was NOT from Valerie, it was from, me, Krissy. You may have noticed, I am much more verbose, LOL! What happened was Val was at my house yesterday using my computer and never signed out! I hope this comment is going to post my photo this time and not hers! We'll see,

krissy knox :)
Sometimes I Think
let's connect on Twitter:
how about friends on FB?

Arlene (AJ) said...

My husband always says "You're so mean AJ, you'll live to be 200", well I hope I do if I have a good brain working, still my get up and go, my forever young spirit at heart and my "good looks", lol. I guess I believe that if you think positive, feel good in your heart and look forward to every day, anything is positive. All I know is I think for me and do what makes me enjoy life and reach for tomorrow with a smile on my face.

Anonymous said...

Hi DB, I am glad that your inner self did not follow the predictions of the naysayers. Stay healthy friend.

Big Mark 243 said...

I am sitting here nodding in agreement reading this post. There is absolutely nothing gained in surrender to negative prophecies, but with belief in the possiblities that comes from effort, the univerese yields..!

Betty and Wilma said...

Thanks for the intrigue, I enjoyed seeing thru your eyes. You know what to do. See you around!

Liz said...

Since dark matter is more than 95% of the galaxy that we can see and dark energy continues to propel matter even faster from the 'Big Bang' I for one prefer to learn what the dark has to offer us 'creatures of the light'.
We would seem to be in the minority!

I can just see the headlines.
'The Darkside Wins'