Saturday, February 19, 2011

Fading Flowers

Friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life.

Thomas Jefferson
I have often said I believe friendship is the network that holds civilization together. The true value of a friend is something we often take for granted.

Yesterday a friend asked me if I ever get depressed. I didn't identify any particular depression. I don't like depression, it interferes with my attitude, And last night I talked with another friend whom I have known for 40 years. We did several plays together and now we talk on the phone about once every 3 months, but we are good friends. He is going through some dark times and talking with him would tend to depress me. I didn't let it, for his sake as well as mine.

But reading this quote from Jefferson I am pondering my former friends and that is a depressing thing to do. I suppose it's partly due to my vagabond life, always shifting physically, mentally or emotionally, putting down roots, then uprooting myself to move on. But even so I have friends from way back who are still in my life.

People move away, one loses contact, you can't find an address or a phone number and so it goes. I have lost friends because they got married and the wife or husband didn't like me. But the worst is when someone cuts you off without a word, without an explanation and who won't take your calls, leave a message or answer a letter.. There is a man in New York who stopped being my friend because he is convinced I lied to him about an important matter dealing with money. I didn't, but I can't talk to him about it since he will not communicate with me.

As Gertrude Stein put it "Before the Flowers of Friendship Faded Friendship Faded."

A friend is one who appreciates you and is happy and complimentary if you do something good. But a friend is also some one who tells you your wrong if you do something wrong. If you didn't like my performance tell me what you think is wrong with it so I can consider it and maybe improve. If you don't like my writing and you're my friend, speak up. If you don't like me and don't want to be my friend say so, don't just disappear down a dark alley. I know what a broken heart is and can deal with it.

Sometimes I want to say "Aw. You can all go to hell!" But I don't mean it. I will always care about the people I care about and those who feel the need to apologize to me don't need to, they've already been forgiven.

DB - The Vagabond
Last weekend people had fun with the ball.
This weekend let's play with the bells

The winner is the one who comes up with the most number references using bell or bells. So ring 'em up.

Good luck


Jon said...

I cherish my friends and would never purposefully sever a friendship. I've only had one friend who did that to me, and it still hurts. We'd known each other since high school and kept in contact for thirty years. Suddenly, she decided that she didn't like my political views and called me a bigot. Perhaps she never really knew me at all......

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Thinking of the challenges of others can be sad, but I cannot say that it would drive me to depression. I think that is more of a medical condition, which I am glad that I do not suffer from.