How can you govern a country which has 246 versions of cheese?
Charles De Gaulle
Let's suppose a space ship landed in your back yard, a little green man got out, walked up to you and said "Take me to your leader." How do you suppose you're going to manage that?
First the Little Green Man has to talk to the local police who, after they have read him his rights, hold him for questioning by the FBI. By the time the FBI finally arrives and starts their interview the Army Corps of Engineers and the U. S. Marine bomb squad are investigating the space ship.
Green Man is turned over to the Federal Aviation Administration to answer questions about how he got here and where he is from. By this time the media is involved. ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox and the Enquirer (hoping for that Pulitzer) are all vying vigorously for the first interview. But when Barbara Walters finally gets through all she can get him to say is "Take me to your leader."
Soon photographs are circulating on the Internet of the Little Green Man and his space ship. The Canadian Government wants reparation because he violated their air space, The Mexican Government claims he is an escaped felon and requests help in extraditing him, the Russian ambassador claims he is a member of a remote tribe in northern Siberia and demands that he be returned, the British ambassador wants to talk with him about some crop circles. Disney quickly produces a small rubber replica of the Green Man and a Japanese/American in California designs a computer game "Catch The Little Green Man."
Next comes the House Investigating Committee and then the Senate Investigating Committee. The Conservatives want Green to be immediately imprisoned and brought to trial for terrorism and war like acts against America. The Liberals want to give him an honorarium and arrange a lecture tour. A Hollywood studio is considering a film (with the original cast).
A Federal Court judge appoints an attorney to represent Green while a full investigation is under way, including testimony from you, (the witness), from the arresting officers, the FBI, the FAA, the US Army and Marine Corps officers, the National Security Council, NASA, as well as opinions from a professor of Intergalactic Science and a detective from the Air Force UFO Investigation Office. Meanwhile Green hasn't even met or heard of the Secret Service.
A group of protesters set up in front of the Federal Office Building. They are carrying signs and chanting "Let Greenie Free" Across the street is a counter protest from the Anti-Greens. All is peaceful.
It is at that point that your lawyer draws up papers to have him prosecuted for unlawful entry, trespassing on private property and criminal misconduct.
Finally he throws up his little green hands and says "Aw, to hell with it" gets back on his space ship and flies away.
That's a lot of cheese.
DB - The Vagabond
Which two items do not belong on this list?
Good luck. The Grand Prize is waiting.