Thursday, October 30, 2008

Lively Latching 10/30/08

Let us live for the beauty of our own reality.

Charles Lamb


When you finally get to that sacred point in life when you stop trying to be someone you're not or to accomplish something you're never going to do, you have taken the first baby steps toward understanding yourself.

One day in the lobby of an office building in New York City there were two young boys running to Mommy. Well, one was running, the other was crawling. It was a long lobby which stretched from 59th Street all the way to 58th Street. The crawler wass so fast he got to Mommy first. He was an expert crawler. He was showing the world what a good crawler he was. I said to his mother that he really had the crawling thing down solid. She laughed and said that it was too bad there was no crawling event in the Olympics.

The kid was such a good crawler, why should he bother to learn how to walk?

Well, as we all know, sooner or later he's going to have to find out what his legs are really for. He'll stagger and fall down. He'll resent his brother for being able to do it better. He'll get frustrated and go back to crawling. But, inevitably, he will get the gist of it and discover that he really is a walker, and maybe even a runner. He will have given up thinking of himself as a crawler and stand proudly on his own two feet, as the saying goes. What a grand day that will be!

As I grew up and began to learn about myself I discovered two things. One was just how many illusions and fantasies I had about myself. And the other was that deep down I really was a great guy and no one else's opinion of me mattered.

I still wanted approval, of course. I was an actor after all. Approval is part of the pay packet. It kept me going. But in the long run the only approval I really needed was my own.

Understanding oneself is a life long enterprise, but dropping off the unreal veneer of fantasies reveals more of the beautiful reality of human character.

Oh, I know what you're saying, "But I like my fantasies." That's okay. Mine sometimes help me get to sleep at night. Just don't take them seriously.

DB - Vagabond Journeys


krissy knox said...

You're right, DB. In the final analysis, it will only be you that you will need approval from. I mean you will be standing there looking in the mirror, and you will have to ultimately decide if you like yourself. It won't matter if you fooled everybody. If you can't say you like you, that you learned to walk, it won't matter if others think so. And I am so glad you do like you...

Krissy :)

PS, I have to add this, LOL. It does matter if one other thinks you are doing okay. That's the Lord!

Anyway, keep on being true to yourself!

krissy knox said...

Oh, DB, I just noticed the date on your comments said I posted at 12:46 am. Do you have your comments set to post to Pacific Time? You are going to have to change the settings for that if you want everybody's comments to reflect the correct posting time! Ah, the intricacies of Blogger. It's driving me nuts! LOL. Okay, I will calm down! Let me see if I can remember where you change the time. I think you have to do it, not me, I think probably your setting is wrong, not mine if I am not mistaken. Oh, I can't remember where to change it. Just go into your blog Vagabond Journeys, and click on Customization, and play around, LOL. Oh, you don't mind me helping you, do you, LOL? I wasn't trying to correct you, I just thought you would want to be accurate...

Take care, buddy,

Krissy :)

Beth said...

I think we all realize that there is always room for self-improvement (I know I need to start working out, for example), but it's so important to be comfortable with the kind of person you are. There are folks who can never reach that point, and that's a shame. How can you be happy around anyone else if you're not happy with YOU?

Nicely said, D!

Hugs, Beth

Big Mark 243 said...

I want to say something, but I don't know quite what to say. I will say that I saw a lot of myself in this post, part of it is the hinted at transaction that comes with going from crawling to walking.

Living for the beauty of one's own reality is one of the more challenging struggles a person can face. What you said about fantasies helping you sleep at night, is true. You can't get lost in them.

I constantly fight that battle.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

I think we all start with a slow crawl as we get involved in new things. We can then hope to be strong crawlers, and if all goes well, walkers and even runners. Nice entry :o)

Leigh said...

Exactly! It's just convincing yourself that gets hard sometimes!
:) Leigh

Joyce said...

It has taken many years for me to get comfortable in my own skin but I'm there. Too bad most of us have to become 'seniors' to get there. Nice entry DB.
Hugs, Joyce