Wednesday, June 2, 2010

What Do You Want?

I hope that I may always desire more than I can accomplish.

Yesterday I sat in a hard wooden chair and twisted myself around in order to take photographs for the first time on a digital camera of my art works so that I could put them on the computer. When I finished and stood up I couldn't walk. For the rest of the day I was painfully bent over. But no matter how I feel today, whether I can walk or not, I have to go to the market or I'll run out of toilet paper (pardon me,
"bathroom tissue"). Now if you don't think that's funny, you've got no sense of humor.

A good hot bath would probably help the back, but I don't have a bath tub. I have a stall shower. There are people who have bath tubs who never use them. They just stand in them and take showers. What a waste! Come take my stall shower and leave me your bath tub. What? Real men don't take baths? Bull.

When I began the day I didn't have a file on the computer of my paintings but, in spite of the sacrifice, now I do. I completed the most recent one a few days ago. Except for signing it I'm finished with it. Naturally I still worry over it as you might worry over a child, hoping they turn out all right. But the painting is not finished with me. Every time I do one I want it to be better than the last one. I'm learning how to paint by painting, the same way I learned acting and broadcasting. There seems to be no other way in my life.

One of the biggest questions of all time is how do we survive? Considering that we are born unable to take care of ourselves, dependant on people with varying degrees of wisdom to teach us how to live, once we make it through the roller coaster of growing up, then considering the limitations, the financial flops, crippling illnesses, emotional whip lashes and natural disasters, how do we keep going, and why?

The answer is: we stay alive because we want to . We desire to live. And that means we desire to experience, to learn, to accomplish things, to fulfill ourselves and to do better than we've done. The imaginations of an active mind, the heart's hopes, the lover's binding strengths transcend all those limitations beyond distances no one has ever measured.

I always hope that things will get better and that I will accomplish more. They don't and I don't. But so what? I will not stop wanting.

DB - The Vagabond
(This is not a contest.)

In your opinion what is the most amazing thing that could happen during this decade? Make it as outrageous as you want but keep it within the realm of what you consider a possibility.

14 responses so far.

Answers will be published the first day of Summer.

Thank you.

DB - The Vagabond


krissy knox said...

You said, "I always hope that things will get better and that I will accomplish more. They don't and I don't. But so what? I will not stop wanting." Dana, I have to tell you this is nonsense, in my humble opinion. You have accomplished so much, and are CONSTANTLY accomplishing more. You have accomplished more with each acting scene you made better, with each broadcast that was better than the last and made others happy, with each friendship you participated in which helped the person broaden her mind to appreciate new things and to learn (that would be me!), and now with each painting you paint -- that you even ADMIT is better each time you create one (as you said you learn to paint by painting!).

Yes, life is precious, and we want to go on living, and we do so because life is worth it, and we want to try to accomplish new things. Just don't say you don't accomplish anything more, sometimes each time you attempt it, my friend!

take care,
krissy knox :)
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Valerie said...

I hope we get to see a painting soon =). Take care, Val xox

pacifica62 said...

Alright, I sheepishly have to admit the fact that I am guilty. I have a bath tub I never use except to stand in and take a shower. Sorry db. To see someone come back from some devastating trauma, inch by inch trying to regain back what they had can be a life changing experience. The will to live is very strong and it does keep us going through insurmountable odds at times. Never stop wanting. It is the spark that keeps the spirit alive.

Liz said...

So... stop the bull in its' tracks... post your pictures:)

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Glad you got the digital demon figured out and conquered. Looking forward to more pictures.

Love an occassional bath, but prefer a hot tub, unfortunately, we do not have one.