Saturday, July 24, 2010

Mad Dogs

To appreciate nonsense requires a serious interest in life.

Gelett Burgess
Selections from "Mad Dogs and Englishmen" by Noel Coward

"At twelve noon the natives swoon, and
no further work is done -
But Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun."
I've always been amused at how some people seem to take excessive weather as a personal insult. Imagine the effrontery of the weather bureau calling for rain on the same day as your garden party. The school cookout had to be canceled because it was just too hot, everyone was disappointed. And if it weren't for the damn ice on the road you might have gotten to the meeting on time.
"In Bangkok, at twelve o'clock, they foam at the mouth and run,
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun."
I went to visit my tobacconist friend yesterday at about 3 o'clock. It was in the high 90's if not 100 degrees. On the way there was no shady side of the street so I shuffled slowly along like every one else on the sidewalks.

Her shop is air conditioned, thank goodness, so I was glad to go in and sit down. As I sat there other customers came in and they all had something to say about the heat. "Whew,it's hot. Hot as hell out there. Or, hotter than the hinges of... That sun is too bright" etc.

After a while, at a moment when there were no customers, she said she was tired of people telling her how hot it was as if she didn't know, as if it was a sudden discovery. She said she wished she could come up with a witty response just to show them the nonsense of what they were all saying.

Alright, I'm English, I admit it. My family came from Yorkshire. So, since she quit smoking and is doing very well at it, I stepped outside to have a cigarette and sat on the bench in front of the shop, A customer passed and said I must be crazy to sit in the direct sunlight like that. No I thought, I'm not mad, I'm just English.
"In Bengal, to move at all, is seldom if ever done,
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun."
When I finished I went back inside and said "Whew! It's colder than a penguin's foot out there." That got a laugh out of her. A refreshing change.

Today the weather bureau has the nerve to call for 105 degrees. Who do they think they are?

Keep cool.



Here are some well known issues as if they were reported by the modern news media. What are they?

1. Last night while the occupants were asleep an intruder entered the house somehow and left behind some suspicious looking boxes. The FBI is investigating.

2. Instead of remaining by the river two youngsters stupidly thought they would try their luck further up. They both toppled off a cliff, which served them right. The boy is listed in serious condition. Doctors have not as yet reported on the girl.

3. Responding to complaints police found a man in the middle of town hiding under a tree and making a horrible noise banging pieces of metal together.

4. Police report that a mad man came speeding through the city in the middle of the night shouting at people to load their rifles.

5. Parents in this community are very distraught. An itinerant worker, in a dispute over wages, has been kidnapping their children. Amber alerts have gone out all around the area. None of the children have yet been located.

6. There was a standoff between the two gangs at the stream. Witnesses say it might have ended peacefully except that one of the guys fired his rifle. A fight ensued.

Good luck.
Leave your answer on in case others don't get to it until later.


pacifica62 said...

I like the humour in here db and also the Noel Coward quotes. I have always thought that if people could not talk about the weather then they would not have much to say to each other. I got a chuckle out of the part where your tobaccanist friend gets tired of everyone coming in and telling her that it is hot -- or cold, or too wet or too snowy, too windy or too something. I get that too most of the day at work, and everyone who comes through the door cannot wait to share the news with me. Let me know if she comes up with her witty response. I need one as well.
Going to be pretty hot over your way. Stay cool.

Valerie said...

Poor lady at the tobacco shop has to hear about the weather all year long. I'm sure it is just something to say. Just like saying hello in our culture. I am sick of heat and humidity because it causes my pain to be at its worst. So I go slower like you. No English blood in my body. LOL HATE the sun. Love the shade. But that wasn't the point of this post at all. LOL

You take special care, my friend. xox

Lisa said...

It IS very hot but I won't take it personally, LOL. Actually I saw a sign, don't know if it was in real life or on TV but it said "Yes! It's hot!"

I thought that was quite appropriate.

Stay cool friend!

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Glad you have a place with AC to go to to cool off.