To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition.
Living alone as I do it isn't hard for me to be happy at home. I keep excellent company with myself. I agree with almost everything I say. I don't bitch at myself for dishes in the sink or leaving my dirty socks on the floor. And whenever I come home everyone here is glad to see me.
Sometimes I even do domestic things like clean and cook. Yesterday I baked some cookies. I haven't done that in a long time, but a friend is having a birthday in a few days so I thought to do something nice for her. I originally thought about buying her a yacht. Then I considered a grand piano or a new car. But as I'm a little short of cash I settled on cookies. I made "Homicide by Chocolate" chip cookies and "Grand Slam Gingersnaps." I make everything from scratch. There is no Betty Crocker in my kitchen (such as it is).
I am always amused at the directions I get in some recipes that say "set your mixer at medium speed" or some other such nonsense. I just translate: "set your elbow at low speed and you wrist at medium speed."
GRAND SLAM GINGERSNAPS
Flour - 2 cups, plus a tad more
Sugar - 2 cups
Crisco - 1 cup
Eggs - 2
Molasses - 1/3 cup
Margarine (or melted butter if you're Danish) 1 Tablespoon
Ginger - 1 teaspoon
Cinnamon - 1 teaspoon
Baking Soda - 1/2 teaspoon
Vanilla - 1 teaspoon
Salt - 1/2 pinch
A bowl of sugar.
Lightly grease 3 cracked and wrinkled aluminum cookie sheets, being careful not to cut yourself. Don't measure out the Crisco until you've measured the other ingredients, unless you have another cup measure. It's very messy.
Combine the flour, baking soda, ginger, cinnamon and salt in a bowl or any large container. Do it with a whisk, that way you won't have to sift the flour. (I haven't sifted flour in many decades, but suit yourself.) Mix well.
Into another container, bowl, wash tub or bucket, put the sugar. Now you can measure out the Crisco. Add it to the sugar and mix them together, or get your 12 year old to do ti. When they are well combined add 2 beaten eggs and mix some more. Then add molasses, vanilla and margarine. Keep mixing until you have a dull looking, nondescript light brown goo. Dip you finger in and taste. Just the finger. No spooning it out.
Now add the dry stuff from the other container and start the real mixing job. Where's that kid? After a while and a lot of work the alchemy takes place and suddenly you have gooey cookie dough.
Form into balls about the size of ping pong balls by rolling the sticky mess you have in you hand in the sugar bowl covering each of them all around with sugar. Then place them on the cookie sheet, 12 at a time. Then lick your fingers. I cook them at 320 for 10 minutes but I have a small 20th Century oven. You'll have to find what's right for you.
After they're done place the sheets out on the fire escape to cool.
When they're cool scrape them off the cookie sheet, eliminate the overcooked and slightly burned ones and serve.
It has been suggested that I start the weekend puzzle on Fridays to give busy people more chance to consider it. So here it is.
Here are some well known issues as if they were reported by the modern news media. What are they?
1. Last night while the occupants were asleep an intruder entered the house somehow and left behind some suspicious looking boxes. The FBI is investigating.
2. Instead of remaining by the river two youngsters stupidly thought they would try their luck further up. They both toppled off a cliff, which served them right. The boy is listed in serious condition. Doctors have not as yet reported on the girl.
3. Responding to complaints police found a man in the middle of town hiding under a tree and making a horrible noise banging pieces of metal together.
4. Police report that a mad man came speeding through the city in the middle of the night shouting at people to load their rifles.
5. Parents in this community are very distraught. An itinerant worker, in a dispute over wages, has been kidnapping their children. Amber alerts have gone out all around the area. None of the children have yet been located.
6. There was a standoff between the two gangs at the stream. Witnesses say it might have ended peacefully except that one idiot shot off his rifle. A fight ensued.
Leave your answer on firstname.lastname@example.org in case others don't get to it until later.