Monday, April 30, 2012

Love Again

To love, and to be hurt often, and to love again - this the brave and happy life.

J. E. Buchrose
Hello Bruce
As one who was recently wearing a broken heart I can speak with some authority about this topic. A broken heart is a terrible thing to have. It resembles the end of life as you know it. It takes a moment to break it and takes a long time to heal. And one of the wrest parts about it is that it puts you into a state of denial. You don't want to accept that it happened because the relationship that ended was too important and you try to regain what you had even though you know in your reasoning mind it's impossible.

As Pearl Buck said "What really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream may be."

But this time around I uncovered another even more horrifying effect. I woke up one morning having had a dream in which I was talking to some actors I used to work with about a theatre that no longer existed. One of the older actresses said "It's over. No more. Never again."

I bolted awake and sat up in a panic. I interpreted the dream as saying that in my advanced age I had just had my last chance of loving anyone. That the love that lives in my heart would never again have a chance to express itself to anyone. "No more. Never again."

I can't describe the terrifying sense of loss I went through that day, and it took a full day of stern reasoning with myself to come to understand it was a fear, not a truth. Now I can say as I put it in one of my Jottings "I loved and lost, but I will live to love again."

It takes courage to be a lover. Love is risky business. There is always the chance for a broken heart. But I like to recall a song Mabel Mercer used to sing "It's true your not the first, but maybe you'll be the first to last."

DB - Vagabond Journeys
Never give up.

1 comment:

Arlene (AJ) said...

None of us know what tomorrow brings us, but we can all be hopeful that it will be a day filled with happiness, love and peace in our hearts....just have to keep thinking positive. May not happen overnight but, gives us something to look forward too.