Monday, January 5, 2009

Xenophilic Xylograph 1/05/09

You are not very good if you are not better than your best friends imagine you to be.

Johann Lavatar
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Never make assumptions about people.

I like the prayer which says: Lord, make me the person my dog thinks I am.

Why does your dog have a higher opinion of you than your best friends do? Maybe it's because your dog asks no questions and makes no assumptions.

There's also a song: "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen." Even our friends, who know more about us than our dogs, don't know the real weight of the burdens we carry around with us, the pains of the present and the past, dreams we cherish for the future and the fears that lurk in the dark corners of our minds.

Even worse is when a friend underestimates us, places us on a lower level of experience, knowledge and ability than we rightly deserve. Overestimate me and you are liable to hurt yourself. Underestimate me and you hurt me.

I have sometimes had to redefine my relationship with people who persist in wrongly patronizing me about things they have no knowledge of. I've also lost friends who made wrong critical judgements about me.

I once had a friend who believes that I made a long and expensive call on his telephone. We knew each other for many years. Why he would assume that I made that call without telling him and, certainly, reimbursing him for it is a mystery, as is his continuing belief that I lied about it. I still care for that fellow. We were friends. But so be it.

I am a better man than he thinks I am and I know it, and since I have no dog to back me up, that will have to do for me. Which it does.


DB

6 comments:

salemslot9 said...

my best friend
still believes in me
a good feeling
our Lil Miss White Cat
was a good friend, too
she accepted me
for what I was
and showed me her love
xo

a corgi said...

I'm learning not to let what others thing about me matter that much but what God thinks about me is so much better; we are flawed individuals continually seem to hurt others with our actions and words; its sad unfortunately; best thing we can do about it, DB, is be the best we can and not hurt others and try to be acceptant of them

betty

Searching for Peace said...

The very hardest critic of them all is yourself. My therapist told me that once and i agree with her. My dog loves me unconditional whether i deserve it or not. Myabe he can see things in me that I cant. I guess with friends you have to work harder for that.You shouldnt have to. I used to have a close friend who loved me unconditional. She was my sister. I will never have that closeness with someone again.

Arlene (AJ) said...

I've been blessed to be able to keep all but one of my friends going back to my high school days, so consider myself indeed blessed. We may not see each other or talk on the phone for months, but when we do, it's like it was just yesterday we were sharing a cup of tea. True friends accept each other as they are, they don't try to change who you are. If they do try to change you, they aren't your friend.

Big Mark 243 said...

I care for people despite what they think of me, or why. This post reminded me of that.

Breezy said...

I am trying to be true to myself and be the best person I can be, and not try to please everyone at the expense of my values. Friends have assumed wrong things about me, or gotten mad for something they have misunderstood. I just had to quit falling apart every time I didn't live up to someones expectations or they judged me wrong. People will drown you if you let them. I finally stopped it